A recent e-mail reminded me of the fast-approaching reality of my last semester of college. I received the message from the Registrar’s office at my university, giving me the date I’ll pick my classes and a reminder to apply for graduation. “I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman” by Britney Spears immediately ran through my head. (I’m not entirely sure why since Crossroads was a terrible movie and the song always felt a little hokey.) Nonetheless, here I am at the edge of that last bit of childhood (we can still get away with some immature stuff in college) and on the threshold of adulthood.

I realize I’ve taken college for granted. It’s busy and challenging, but life is never going to be the same. Instead of a few hours of class a day or work, it’ll be a 9-to-5 day with bills, rent, car payments, insurance, benefits, and a whole lot of other things I can’t fully grasp yet. It’s a little overwhelming. There’s security and comfort in my campus life.

When I’m overwhelmed now, I make to-do lists to help me look ahead and know what to expect. I feel like I have some order and control when I can visualize what needs to be done and then cross it off (that’s the best part). My lists now consist of classes, work, readings, the occasional paper and miscellaneous club meetings. But what will my real world to-do list look like? Here’s my guess:

• Start the day fully showered and in appropriate attire. Rolling out of bed an hour before needing to be somewhere isn’t advisable and sweat pants do not make a wardrobe.
• Make actual dinners. Ramen noodles, frozen pizza and instant mac-n-cheese are not the best diet staples.
• Be the friend/co-worker/partner I would like to have. If you send good karma into the world, it will all come back eventually
• Eliminate the constant use of the word “like.” It’s fine when giving an example or expressing an enjoyment for something. It’s not OK when it is said every few words.
• Caffeine is great – in moderation. Four cups of coffee in the morning, a soda at lunch and an iced vanilla latte in the afternoon is probably excessive.
• Call Mom at least once a week. This can’t be sacrificed because moms have a power to make you feel better without having to do much.
• Achieve self-actualization. (Self-actualization: the achievement of one’s full potential through creativity, independence, spontaneity and a grasp of the real world.)
• Be OK with the fact that all of life is a journey to reach self-actualization. I’m just one step closer with every experience.

This may not be the most thorough list, but I know it will probably change as life changes. I’ll accomplish things or realize I may never accomplish them and that can be OK, too. For now though, it seems to be the right to-do list for the next step.

Ashley Thill, college, graduation, Real Life, self-actualization, to-do lists Hide

I spent the past week in Minnesota for no other reason than my brother graduated from law school and the entire family flew into town to support and celebrate his endeavors. Like any graduation weekend, it was complete chaos. Between the 15 of us, there were five hotel rooms, four rental cars, and two kids under the age of three. You can imagine that choosing a restaurant alone necessitated an event planner.

The weekend was a ball of confusion, miscommunication, who’s riding in whose car, and why isn’t so-and-so answering his phone? For those of you who have big families, you know that it’s absolute mayhem trying to coordinate plans, to arrive anywhere on time, to have everyone happy at the same time and the frustration of our mother wanting to “keep everything running smoothly.”

However, despite the overwhelming stress, the lack of sleep (because nieces and nephews insist on waking you up two hours earlier than you would like), the 10 year sibling fires that get rekindled, and the unprecedented patience required for the molasses like progress we make, no matter what, we’re family and that’s what family does. The definition of family varies for everyone; it can be your closest friends, your teammates, or your coworkers but either way, it’s your “crew” and, for them, you’d do anything.

The beauty of my family is that at the end of the day we’re on the same team and when my brother walked across that stage, all the chaos, annoyance and frustration it took to get us to the graduation in the first place melted away and the Jones clan jumped to our feet, with tears running down our cheeks and cheered for Josh with more pride than if we’d just cured cancer. Suddenly, everything else became irrelevant and we were able to focus on the reason we were there in the first place.

That’s when it occurred to me that we put up with all the other stuff in life because we know that, when push comes to shove, we have a group of people who would do anything for us. The Jones family certainly isn’t perfect, we are a blend of half’s, step’s, and blurred lines that would make our family tree more of a spider web than anything remotely linear, but we have the one ingredient that supersedes everything else. We have unwavering, unconditional love for each other.

Relationships, in general, are not about being perfect or never butting heads; they’re about knowing that, in spite of all the imperfections, the ego, pride, mistakes, and hurt feelings, no one is going anywhere. My family certainly has our flaws, but when it’s time to rally, the Jones crew is willing to weather any storm because we know all hands will be on deck and if we lose someone overboard, you better believe we aren’t leaving that man behind.

Because, at the end of the day, relationships are messy, dramatic and, at times, can make you want to commit a homicide, but my goodness they are worth it when you’re sick and need someone to bring you soup and crackers. The people who can push your buttons like no one else are the same people who can cheer you up during life’s greatest disappointments and believe in you when it seems like everyone in world has turned their backs on you.

Regardless of who I “grow up to be,” of what contributions I leave this world (big or small) and despite what mistakes I’m sure to make, the foundation of who I am and my self worth remains unaffected because it’s made of unbreakable titanium: my family.

While I enjoy the uninterrupted sleep, the simplicity of my own schedule and the peacefulness of my beautiful apartment, I wouldn’t trade a minute of Jones drama – for they are and always will be the best part of who I am. Thank you, family, for an incredible weekend and reminding me of what really matters in life, something easily forgotten here in La La Land.

alexis jones, college, communication, conflict, family, graduation, love, minnesota, schedule Hide