Our San Diego chapter

Girls need girls. It’s a fact. Whether it’s ogling over our latest crush (and don’t pretend we EVER grow out of it), crying over our most recent disappointment, laughing at our absurdities, or confiding our deepest, farthest, back-of-the-closet secret; we need to be heard. Through sharing our experiences we have an opportunity to explore our own thoughts, work through our emotions and discover new kernels of truths.

For some time I thought I could figure out how to eliminate insecurities, fears and doubts for girls and women. If only I had the right formula, magic pill or workshop. I could find a way to instill authentic confidence in girls and women everywhere so they were free to fulfill if not surpass their potential and powerfully contribute to the world. The reality is that I can’t. I don’t have a cure-all that will remove the challenges and obstacles inundating the human experience. No human being for that matter has that ability.

My revelation emerged from a company meeting where a group of us were sitting around chitchatting about nothing really (like girls do). We talked about work, dabbled in politics and circumnavigated the uncharted waters of relationships. That’s when it happened; our conversation about nothing became about everything. We brought up issues of quarreling co-workers, struggles with body image, society’s high expectations, third-world countries and naturally, boys.

Before you knew it, our “business meeting” had transformed into a group of healing listening, compassionate respect and validating patience. There were no epiphanies, or calendar-making breakthroughs. If it were any other day, I would have over looked it completely, but not this time. The light bulb went off and I wondered if all girls had this kind of outlet to be heard and to hear others?

It’s important that even if we don’t have the immediate answers that we are made to feel we’re not alone. There’s comfort in that. There’s fearlessness in knowing you have a crew backing you up, a group of women protecting you and looking out for you. That’s when we realized this tangible community is vital to our existence. If we are going to change this world, if we are going to empower one another and ignite a revolution, it’s going to require that we come together and support one another. If a man chooses to be an island, he can be alone all by himself. I’m not interested in going through life’s safari alone. We’re stronger and more equipped to handle life’s curve balls when we have a whole team out there on the field with us.

So we created local chapters for girls to get plugged in and find other like-minded women out to make a difference in the world. We need an army of women, a dream team of relentless activists who will dedicate one night a week for an hour or so to a group of women who also want to leave this world better than how they found it. We already have chapters in most big cities, but we need more. If there’s one in your hometown, then get involved! If not, start your own.

We meet once a week, provide the content for the meeting, the girls and the space. As little as three members, as big as almost fifty in our San Diego Chapter. Either way, it’s an opportunity for girls to empower other girls. Where women on the same wave length can come together and support one another.

And I get it, you’re busy. We all are. But it’s not for us, it’s for you. You need it, we all do. But better yet, we deserve it in our lives. We deserve taking some time for ourselves once a week and having an outlet to talk about things that matter in this world. We deserve being listened to and having a place to share. I am that girl just launched local chapters to make that a reality. Badass women coming together to change the world. We need you in this revolution, we need your voice and your life’s unique brand. Make it a reality, make you a priority. Get involved, sign up, and start your own. I don’t care what you do, but 2010 is the year for you.

It would be an honor to have you come in the name of i am that girl and share your life’s journey with us. To find out more about our local chapters, or if you want to be a badass and start your own, contact Rosalind Adams at rosalindzoeadams@gmail.com.

Until then, keep rockin’ this world and being That Girl.

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Twenty-nine-year-old Christy Thomas is not afraid to stand tall in a sport that has been traditionally dominated by men.

The 6-foot-1, two-striped brown belt has trained in Brazilian jiu-jitsu for nearly eight years, incurring numerous injuries in the sport including popped ribs, sprained ankles and twisted fingers. Once, during training, she was thrown by a 300-pound man. But despite the wounds, Thomas says jiu-jitsu is an inseparable part of her life, and she will continue to fight for a female presence in the sport.

“When I first started there were tournaments that wouldn’t give women’s points to the teams. We were clumped in with the kids,” Thomas explained. “So, I actually talked to promoters and told them that if they didn’t include us I wouldn’t compete. It sparked a lot more competition.”

Thomas is training for the 2009 Pan Jiu-Jitsu Championship slated for this month in Carson, Calif. She is co-owner of the Relson Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Austin Association in Texas. Jiu-jitsu is her passion, but being a martial artist does not mean she has to sacrifice her femininity.

“I don’t just hang out with jocks all day,” Thomas said. “[Growing up] I wasn’t necessarily a tomboy, but I was definitely an athlete. I definitely grew up with boys, but I am very much a girl. I don’t like bugs.”

Co-owner Phil Cardella said he has seen Thomas grow as an athlete since she started in 2001. “She’s improved a lot. Now she’s been beating black belts.”

Eight to 10 women are enrolled in the academy, but maintaining women’s interest jiu-jitsu has proven difficult. Of the women registered with the academy, Thomas said about three have trained consistently. Most have left to have children or moved to a different town, said Thomas. But Thomas said those truly passionate about jiu-jitsu have successfully grappled for more respect in the sport alongside the men.

Cardella, who is a black belt, said it is important for men and women to train together because, “More than likely they’re [women] going to get attacked by men, not women.”

Thomas agrees, stating that, “Training with men and women is crucial. Men in your similar weight categories are for sure going to be stronger, but in jiu-jitsu the biggest person is not always going to win.”

Jiu-jitsu is distinguished from other martial arts as a combat sport, primarily involving grappling and ground fighting. It derived from judo, and teaches students how to defend by using submission holds. Thomas said jiu-jitsu not only teaches students how to defend themselves, but it is a confidence builder.

White belt Amber Tarcha, who trains at the academy, echoed that sentiment. “I am a 5-foot-3, 126-pound girl. Jiu jitsu has taught me that even though I am smaller, I can leverage my strong points to gain control over a 200-pound muscle guy.” Tarcha added, “If that’s not empowerment … I don’t know what is.”

For Thomas jiu-jitsu is not simply for self-defense, but it is her part of her everyday regiment. “Jiu-jitsu for me is a way of life. I definitely could not be without it at this point in my life,” Thomas said.

Thomas is traveling with one other woman from her academy to compete in the Pan Jiu-Jitsu Competition from March 27 to March 29. Read more information Pan Jiu-Jitsu Competition.

photos by shama ko

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The theme was “Women Empowering Women” and quite frankly they nailed it. I walked into a room of 400 boisterous, incredibly successful, proud USC alumni. Yet if you hadn’t looked close enough, you might have confused it with a sorority conference. It doesn’t matter our age, you get a room full of women and good luck quieting us down.

In fact, it took three “Ladies, may I please have your attention” on the microphone and borderline shouting to quiet the room before I could properly introduce our lovely co-chairs. But before you knew it, every woman was eagerly awaiting the prestigious speakers and fascinating panel awaiting us.

Now I could go into great detail about how incredible the speakers were, how their poignant messages resonated with me, or how inspired I was by all that they have accomplished but more inspiring was a room full of BELLISTS- women who remembered that we are, in fact, on the same team.

Rarely do you have a room of over 400 chicks, successful in their own right, powerful, gorgeous, accomplished and NOT threatened by one another. There was a completely different vibe in the room; not one of catty eye rolling, judgmental stare downs or gossipy banter. It was a room full of passionate, confident women creatively working on how we could collaborate to accomplish even MORE together.

Similar to i am that girl, we had many different lenses by which we view this world, but one, single vision: to positively and significantly impact this world. And it’s having such a lofty goal, one bigger than ourselves, one which our egos are forced to bow to, that forces us to work together in order to even fathom accomplishing it.

At the end of the day, the first ever, USC Women’s Conference was an over the top success. Yet it whetted my appetite for what women are truly capable of when put in the right room, under the right circumstances. If we are going to be the change this world needs, if we are going to single-handedly impact an entire generation of women, if we are going to have the audacity to pursue our outrageous dreams, our success hinges on one thing. Like the Karate Kid learning patience or the Slumdog never giving up on his love, every mission, every story, every fight has a key ingredient that makes the impossible, possible.

Bellism is reminding women we are on the same team, learning to work together and being each other’s biggest fans while also redefining our society’s unattainable definition of beauty. Our mission is a daunting one, it flirts with the impossible, baits obstacle, taunts challenge and yet we have our secret weapon that will make this journey triumphant, but well worth every step.

“Women empowering women.” Learn it, love it, live by it.

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