Ashley is a very fashionable girl, all honey colored layers and cinch waisted suitcoats. When I saw her last, I complimented her Steve Madden wedges. She shrugged. “I had to dress for court. Just a formality, my lawyer apologized for bringing me in.”

To my ears, her story plays out like an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The gang spends the night drinking as usual. Ashley and John break away long after last call, John insisting “I’ll be fine, it’s only two miles!” Ashley, having spent the last 4 hours drinking, passes out upon ignition.   John manages to avert collision and catastrophe by chain smoking. (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!) Upon arriving, he promptly pukes in her parking spot. And here’s where things go a tad ‘over the top:’ After somehow finding the door, John realizes he doesn’t have his keys.

Are they in the car? Pants pockets? Dropped while ralphing?

The possibilities explode in drunken logic: John kicks in his own door and promptly freefalls onto their sofa. Alcohol wins another round, folks! Little does John know that the cat lady in 2B called the police when she came to the crazy conclusion that someone was breaking into his apartment. Instead of waking up to a hangover, he is jolted conscious by a billy club. John assures them – reality sinks in – yes he lives here. But since the police have been deprived of kicking in the door themselves, they decide to search the apartment. And what do they find? In a footlocker underneath the sweet couple’s bedside table but John’s pot stash. Comic double take! Those were JOINTS he was smoking!

Back in the real world, Ashley is found fast asleep in the car. She, too, is arrested for possession of marijuana.

The aftermath doesn’t isn’t so funny. Ashley loves her job as an assistant for a CPA, and said the hardest part was telling her conservative boss she had been arrested because her boyfriend kept drugs at their apartment. She was crying; sure she’d be fired. He handed her a tissue and cleared his throat “But…it was only marijuana?”

And that’s what makes my throat go tight. Half Baked, Pineapple Express and Weeds are part of our cultural wallpaper and the DARE shirt I was given in junior high has now achieved a vintage patina bordering on the ironic. Yet the bail set for Ashley’s boyfriend was the same as for his cellmate, a man arrested for stabbing someone. They were evicted from their apartment and are now living with friends.  Ashley was not fired from her job.

If I were to whisper behind her back, I might question her decision to stick with him. “Stand By your Man” doesn’t belong on this playlist. Or does it?  We’re both quick to demean his idiotic door-kicking. That’s the serious crime here.  But despite the arrest, she loves him. With tears in her eyes she tells me how much. Ashley chooses to stay with him because, even though he was arrested for a certain crime, in today’s young adult landscape she just doesn’t believe that what he did was wrong.

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It started out as an innocent request for a peaceful night’s sleep– it had been months since I’d experienced one. Pop a pill, fall asleep; the combination sounded magical.  I read the sample pack provided by my MD, downed the medication and waited. About an hour later, while searching the web, the craziest thing happened: like something out of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the pictures on the computer were moving, the art in my room was fading in and out, and I felt weightless. I fell asleep and 8 hours later I was hooked.

Sounds illegal, doesn’t it? But this was Ambien, indicated as a short-term treatment, to help you fall asleep.

I began to research the reasons behind my “trippy” experience and unexpected NEED to get a prescription for this. I found my experience was not uncommon, even tame compared to others. Many people who take Ambien are at-risk for abnormal behavior while using. For a girlfriend of mine, it was waking up to her sheets filled with candy wrappers and smeared with chocolate. For another woman it was finding her car dented, and a slight recollection of hitting a fence.

According to a recent Consumer Reports study almost 1 in 5 Americans took sleep aids at least once a week to help them sleep. 63% of those who took sleep medications experienced side effects; 24% said they became dependent on the medication and 21% said that repeated use reduced the drug’s effectiveness. Addiction centers are flooded with people who are hooked on sleep aids–for both the sleep aspect, and the recreational usage.

In the U.S., recreational use of this drug is becoming more common in young people. They claim that by forcing themselves to stay awake, they can cause vivid visuals and a body high (much like my Fear and Loathing experience).  Some users report decreased anxiety, calmness, as well as perceptual changes, visual distortions, and/or hallucinations.

Even patients using Ambien for the right reasons can become addicted; their tolerance builds and their dosage must be increased. At high dosages, there can be a risk of a severe physical and psychological dependence, which is why it’s permitted only for short-term use.

Ambien addiction is often difficult for others to realize.  The patient may not abuse drugs daily to have a problem with addiction; the pattern of abuse may be occasional or routine, but the NEED is present. Ambien addiction symptoms include:
•    Anxiety relief when using Ambien
•    Inconsistent mood
•    Increased self-confidence
•    Increased sensitivity to sights and sounds, including hallucinations
•    Altered length in sleep or waking states
•    Unpleasant physiological and psychological symptoms when Ambien is withdrawn
•    Preoccupation with running out of Ambien

My doctor was liberal in prescribing Ambien. My slow dependence on the medication alerted me to switch doctors; one who was more concerned with my inability to sleep, rather than attempting to fix the situation with fast acting meds. If you are having difficulty with catching those zzz’s find a doctor who is willing to listen, not just write a prescription.

photo by dan foy

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