I’m not going to lie, I don’t get the whole Valentine’s day hype. I never have. And this isn’t a single girl’s rant, I’ve certainly had my share of rose-petaled surprises, chocolate filled teddy bears and expensive ooh- la-la Valentine dinners. I just don’t like the idea that there’s this arbitrary day once a year where whatever guy is in my life, is pressured into expressing his love through a cheesy Hallmark card and a heart shaped box of delectable delights.

I’d rather him do it on a random Tuesday, in the middle of June, or a Wednesday in late September when he actually feels like it. All I’m saying is that I want the appreciation-forced 14^th of February to last the other 364 days out of the year, not all stuffed into a single 24 hour period. And I don’t like the idea of someone doing something for me because of a make believe bow and arrow carrying, half naked guy flying around inducing prearranged marriages.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am as hopeless a romantic as they come. I am weak in the knees at the sight of pink lilies, silly sweet notes written for no reason at all make me smile all day and dinner with a guy I have a crush on leaves me completely unproductive for a week as I replay flirtatious comments in my head and sport a perma-smile all day. I’m the queen of butterflies, lose all logic-making ability when I’m kissed and admittedly hold my breath when my phone rings at the mere thought of the guy I like calling.

So with my girly confessions out of the way, I am 100% chick when it comes to the sweet stuff. But I have to admit that I hate a guy feeling obligated to do ANY of that for me so I’m proposing a new concept for Valentine’s day, a potential hand shake, deal making opportunity. Okay guys, What if I said that that from now on, Valentine’s is your day off. The one day a year you get to do whatever in the hell you want. Watch football, play poker, go camping with the dudes, sleep in, I don’t care. But it’s your day to be a man, beat your chest and revert to the cave man that lives deep down inside. However, the other 364 days out of the year you make an effort, you do thoughtful surprises, leave cards for no reason and yes, you buy me pink lilies and chocolate chip cookies but all on your own time, when you feel like it. But on that one, special day, it’s completely yours.

And I promise the same goes for me. Valentines will be my day to pamper myself, go to the spa, get a mani and pedi, buy myself a new outfit and lounge in a bath singing along to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. But 364 days out of the year, I in return will spoil you with fantastic home made dinners, buy tickets to your favorite team’s championship game, surprise you with whip cream bikinis and will have your favorite beer stocked in the fridge on poker night. I will go out of my way to make you feel special the rest of the year if you grant me one day to have all, completely to myself.

Deal?

I think we could use a reminder once a year to pamper ourselves anyway and seeing as we have the rest of the year to be selfless, to compromise and to be sweet and thoughtful with each other, we deserve a day off. February 14^th seems as arbitrary and perfect as any. The perfect day to be the good kind of selfish, to pamper ourselves and revel in unconditional, selfishness.

We’d also get to avoid the inundation of red and pink, overpriced set menus, hard to get reservations at fancy restaurants, forced compliments and chocolates. You don’t have to worry about forgetting a made up holiday and hurting my feelings, or trying to out do whatever you did last year or meet “crazy girl on Valentine’s day” expectations that were unbeknownst to you. I think I’m completely okay with all of that, well except the chocolate. I’ll pretty much accept chocolate any time, any place, anywhere (make note of that).

Either way, I’m starting a new Non-Valentine’s, Valentine’s Day trend. After all the beauty of relationships is that you get to decide what works for you. Together you write the rules and  you set and create your own expectations. Among many other things I don’t buy into, Valentine’s Day, at least for me (and this is NOT the case for all girls so don’t propose this idea of your girlfriend and get me in trouble) is being scrapped from my yearly calendar.

However, absolutely nothing above applies to birthdays. Birthdays are a completely different story… forget that day and you’re in the dog house. We’re talkin’ big time dog house.  July 6. Sear it into your brain and plan two weeks in advance, fireworks are suggested and trust me, the golden rule applies here so your birthday will reap the same MUCH deserved love and attention.

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Auntie Cathy’s 5 Minute Chocolate Cake

This recipe is HIGHLY dangerous for a chocoholic, but in case you have a craving that needs to be filled quickly, here’s my Auntie Cathy’s 5 minute chocolate cake!

5 minute chocolate mug cake (given to me by my Auntie Catherine)

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract; mix again. Pour into your favorite mug and place in the microwave; cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don’t be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate, if desired. EAT!

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Have you ever known a woman who dislikes chocolate? “I’m not a big sweets person,” she’ll say, or, “This is too rich for me.” After one bite of her decadent dessert she sets her fork down. You sit across from her, trying not to drool while her words blur together into a distant rambling stream, wondering how in the world she canNOT eat that chocolate! The differences between you and she are likely not about will power but rather the power of your taste buds.

If you dislike chocolate, you may be part of the nearly 25% of people known as super tasters. (Yes, this is an actual scientific term.) Super tasters have highly sensitive taste buds and more of them than their chocolate-loving counterparts. At close glance, their tongues are bumpy – chock full of acute taste buds, or papillae. This results in low tolerance for highly sweet, fatty or bitter foods.

Another near quarter of people is known as non-tasters. Non-tasters do taste but not as deeply as super tasters. They have fewer papillae on their tongues and can tolerate most flavors and tastes. They are drawn to highly flavorful foods, sugary sweets and yes, chocolate. (If you are known to put 7 packets of sweetener in your coffee, this may be you.)

The rest of us are coined normal tasters. Normal tasters have moderately bumpy tongues and average ability to taste and differentiate between flavors. They are less picky about foods than super tasters but not as extreme in taste acceptance as non-tasters.

There are pros and cons to each of these categories. Super tasters eat fewer fatty, fried or sugary foods. They may also have aversion to healthy foods such as certain vegetables. (Imagine if you could taste the bitter earth in a vegetable variety. A super taster very well might!) They are often self-proclaimed picky eaters and are particular about where, what and how they eat.

Non-tasters (most chocoholics) can eat just about anything. Such flavor allowance can be a blessing or a curse. If a non-taster goes for sugary, salty or fatty foods, most often it can be problematic. They may struggle with cravings or portion control. If they commit to a diet based on healthy foods, they’re able to enjoy them in great variety, allowing for heightened nutrient intake and wellness.

Normal tasters fare pretty well in between. They tend to be moderate eaters and obsess less over what they eat. They are more focused on dinner conversation than the food on (or not on) their plates and tend to be more relaxed in general.

Knowing where you fall on the taste bud spectrum can heighten understanding of yourself and others and can inspire positive changes in your eating life. Your love, loathing or apathy toward chocolate may be just the tool you need to get started. (Ah, yet another reason to cheer for chocolate…)

photos by tammy green, anjuli ayer

chocolate, health, non-tasters, normal tasters, nutrition, papillae, super tasters, sweets, taste buds, tongue Hide