Image courtesy of Bestweekever.tv

Miniskirt, tube top, kitten heels, and oversized sunglasses. Sounds like a flirty outfit for a night on the town. What about for a six-year-old? Astonishingly, an ensemble similar to this can be seen these days on children under the age of 10 everywhere. While playing dress-up with mommy can be harmless, bringing it into everyday fashion can not only be dangerous but damaging down the line to a young girl’s self-esteem.

What contributes to the increasing trend of girls dressing sexy at younger ages? Undoubtedly, the media plays an integral part in promoting a particular image or fad thus influencing this fabricated ideal. There is a boundary between classy and fun as opposed to tacky and inappropriate. It seems that line has been blurred more with each generation. Young icons such as the daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, Suri, have come under scrutiny for their clothes. But being in the public eye does demand a certain level of understanding that you will be viewed and judged by various people for countless reasons, particularly aesthetics.

Television programs such as Toddlers and Tiaras are examples of placing importance on external appearance and perception of beauty rather than focusing on inner beauty and the value of what one possesses already. Flaunting a child who is barely able to speak in attire meant for women in their 20s or older, persuading them to spray tan, and covering their features with an unhealthy amount of makeup is not sending the right message to today’s youth.

Parents can likewise be a key contributor in the way a child dresses. They decide for the first portion of their lives what they will wear and send the message to their children what type of garb is suitable. It’s important to consider how you dress your child today or how they see you dress could provoke them to continue to dress in that manner down the line. The short skirts and cut-off tops may be playful in your eyes, but when they hit puberty and are still wearing the same size outfits, you may have a dangerous situation on hand in terms of predators and promiscuity.

What can a parent do to promote a positive mindset about image and self-esteem? The answer is multifaceted but always goes back to inner beauty. Even at a young age, stress that no matter what you wear or how you style your hair, your external physical appearance is trivial compared to being beautiful on the inside and loving yourself first. Support being true to oneself and not giving into peer pressure or media perception. Encourage a sense of personal style and do not disregard what your child says about their appearance because it could reveal confidence issues or other underlying topics. Allow them to share what they like about themselves from a personality and character perspective.

Remember, clothes don’t define a person but they can help represent personality and really let your child shine!

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Today was our first day working with CENIT. We are so happy to be working with this organization because many of its goals are in line with those of I Am That Girl. Although CENIT opens its doors to both boys and girls, it places greater emphasis on helping girls to succeed (as its name suggests) because they recognize the greater obstacles that face young females in Ecuador. Girls are less valued but often have more responsibility placed upon them because in addition to helping the family sell items to contribute to the income, they are also expected to care for their younger siblings.

CENIT is located in the slums of Quito, also called the barrios which is in the southern part of the city. Here there are several markets, some filthier than others. In one, banana peels and other fruits lay decomposing on the floor and the smell is overwhelming, if not unbearable. One of the programs that CENIT has created is to have volunteers head into the markets where there are many kids about—some selling things for their parents, others who wander with nothing to do, and all of whom have little chance at a real childhood or education. To top it off, most of the kids come from abusive families or live with alcoholic parents so they are constantly acting out and imitating what they see at home. Groups of volunteers work with the kids for a few hours, playing games, singing songs, emphasizing basic hygiene skills, and teaching simple skills that kids would learn in school.

Paloma and I each headed to the markets and spent some quality time with children. How so many of them simply longed for attention! Even though I don’t speak much Spanish, it was amazing how far just a friendly smile and holding their hand meant so much for many of them. I was lucky to still navigate my way though some basic one on one conversations with a few girls while we made clocks and practiced telling the time. Paloma had a similar experience while making bracelets with several girls. At the end of our time today, each of the girls kissed us on our cheeks and thanked us—so freaking cute.

Our work continues tomorrow and we are happy to have so much time left here, though it quickly seems to be running out. Paloma and I are also having great fun exploring more of the city (before dark that is!) and learning the bus system and the trolleys. The neighborhoods are all so much different from each other and there is so much to soak in. The people here continue to be some of the most friendly I have ever encountered and delicious food is literally on every corner.

R and P

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Heidi Thompson-Saunders is confident, seated in the crowded back room of the Barrel of Monkeys office. She has an MBA from The University of Chicago and is often asked, “Why on earth are you doing what you’re doing?” She tells me, “It’s the reverse question, because I went so I could do what I was doing. I don’t like the automatic assumption that because I went to this particular school I wouldn’t be interested in this kind of work.”

Heidi joined Barrel of Monkeys as Executive Director four years ago. This program works with some of the most under-served students in Chicago, going into the public schools, teaching creative writing, adapting the stories written by the students and finally performing them with professional actors. Within these six-week residencies the students are brought together under 3 powerful agreements:
1.    EVERY IDEA IS A GOOD IDEA
2.    DON’T MAKE FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE’S IDEAS
3.    RESPECT EACH OTHER.

Guided by five teaching-artists, students receive one-on-one attention, are encouraged to explore their own imaginations and feel tremendous validation watching their stories performed by adults.

“The way we promote self esteem is primarily through the performance, but starts first with the three agreements.” Heidi says. “These [agreements] are empowering for kids who are used to being told that you HAVE to get it ‘right.’ Well, in Barrel of Monkeys, there are no right answers and that is incredibly important.”

As Executive Director of a mid-size non-profit, Heidi oversees development, marketing, and general management of the staff – but she didn’t always plan on being in administration. She admits that, originally, she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted, “I think like most people in college I didn’t have a specific [goal]. I did a lot of theatre in high school and I knew that I was good at stage managing. I thought maybe that’s what I wanted to do and I also thought maybe I wanted to write novels or maybe I wanted to get into politics or maybe I wanted to be a journalist…I ended up studying political science and doing a lot of theatre as an extra curricular.”

After graduation, she found many successes as a freelance stage manager but wound up going back to school for her MBA (which led to her position at Barrel of Monkeys). “I [began] thinking about other ways that I could help and be within the theatre community…I love the art form so much and I love being involved.”

Finding Barrel of Monkeys after graduate school was a perfect fit for Saunders. “The idea that I would get to do what I wanted at an organization whose mission is so strong and that I believe so much in is really fantastic,” she explains. “It’s the best of everything I could possibly want.”

To find out more, visit the Barrel of Monkeys website.

photos by david wolf and erich nerger

artists, barrel of monkeys, children, heidi thompson-saunders, kids, non-profit, school, teaching, theater, university of chicago Hide

As a trainer, I often train young girls ages 11-13 at a school where recess is every other day and a large percentage of the kids are overweight if not clinically obese. Sadly, this is not at all random. One in three children ages 2 to 19 is either overweight or obese. That’s roughly 25 million children facing serious health risks such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure, stroke and Type-2 diabetes.

It has been no surprise that adult obesity is on the rise in this country. Fast food convenience, lack of portion control and sedentary lifestyles are all large contributing factors. But no one can ignore the growing percentage of children who are falling into the obesity category.

The emotional impact of being overweight leaves a dramatic impression on children and can be just as significant as the physical stress of packing on the pounds. Depression, low self-esteem and Attention Deficit Disorder are just a few of the emotional implications.

The topic of obesity and its various causes is a sensitive subject for many people. Whether it is the lack of personal responsibility or economic disparities, the finger should never be pointed at the children.

So, who is to blame? It is the schools? Is it the parents? Or is it our government?

Although daily activity and eating healthy foods are recommended as the answer to a healthy lifestyle, more than 90% of elementary schools in the United States do not offer daily doses of physical activity. School meals and vending machines provide unhealthy food and beverage choices such as sodas, french fries and potato chips. Parents tend to resort to the convenience of fast food to feed their children at home. And the Alliance for a Healthier Generation estimates that children spend three or more hours daily playing video games or watching television.

It is safe to say the answer to preventing and treating childhood obesity is neither simple nor singular. Although much is being done to improve the situation — like education programs for parents and children — the epidemic is still raging.

If the numbers of obese or overweight children continue to grow, generations of parents could outlive their children, chronic diseases will be considered normal and national medical costs will skyrocket.

Although certain ethnic and economic groups may have higher percentages of obesity, this problem is a universal health crisis and requires immediate treatment.

image by joe hu

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For many of us, when we’re 21, we are looking forward to celebrating and partying away our final year of college before we head out into the real world. We’re focused on our futures and enjoying the present.  But imagine that your life had been exactly how it had until you were 21, at which point you were shocked to discover you were pregnant. You have one more year of school to go. One more year to the real world and, suddenly, the real world is here and it’s surreal.

This is the story of Elizabeth Williams after she turned 21 and was staring down her senior year at University of Northern Colorado. The decisions she’d hoped to be dealing with at that time, weren’t quite as important as she now had to plan around a future that included someone else’s future, too. Elizabeth, pregnant through her senior year, would graduate and give birth in June to a beautiful little boy.

Now, five years later, Elizabeth and her son, Micah, lead a very full life. Elizabeth determined to live out her dreams, which now include her son, completed an online Masters degree in 2007 and works as a Children’s librarian in the Denver area.  She wouldn’t have it any other way. As a single mom, Elizabeth often appears to be running around crazy, and may sometimes even feel she is, but deep within knows she’s got a grip on her life, help from her nearby family, and the love of her life sleeping in the room next to hers.

Surely, it wasn’t her original plan. When she’d figured out her future, she’d expected it to include a strong man before any little man came along.  But things turned out differently for Elizabeth and she adapted to them. She embraces the way things are, loving and living in the moment – because, with a 5-year-old son, it’s hard to bank on predictability. There have been some curves in her road of life, but Elizabeth has used them to enjoy the breeze from a different angle and see the sun in a different way.

children, college, education, elizabeth williams, graduate, librarian, life's curves, pregnant, the plan, university of northern colorado Hide

Clothes are the most basic form of self-expression.  For many women, they have become the most important form of self-expression.  They are marketed to us in just this way: wear this and you’ll appear professional and conservative; wear this and you’ll appear sexy; wear this and you’ll appear to have no style whatsoever and people will think you’re lame (and if it’s lame enough, maybe you’ll actually get back around to cool).  We break our banks and carefully accessorize outfits so no one (God forbid) sees us in the same outfit twice. It’s dress up for adults – a world that allows us to appear in any role we want.

The newest, most-lucrative trend in the world of fashion is couture for kids.  Top designers like Juicy Couture are rapidly creating lines for both young girls and boys.  Play Couture, a new store in Beverly Hills, sells designers such as Diesel, Paul Frank, Lacoste and more high-end brands like IKKS for ages 7-16.  Play’s website touts their store as a “haven” for the “bratty, fashion-obsessed preadolescent.”  But who’s paying for these expensive items?  And why?

Jody Thomas, a mother from Colorado explains that children are not brand-oriented by nature.  “As my kids have gotten older, we are actually spending less,” she says.  “I may love the expensive little swing raincoat with the brown and pink oversize polka dots and pink trim; my daughter is indifferent to it.  My son, likewise, will love anything with a dinosaur on it.”  Thomas insists that she only buys couture for fit, quality and classic design (so that it may be worn repeatedly), and for children, these qualities are null. “They have no figure flaws and they will outgrow clothing before they outwear it.”

Breny Mendoza, a women’s studies professor and mother, explains these marketing tactics and their motivations. “These industries need to rely on the purchasing power of the wealthy and create new lines of products to make up the declining purchasing power of the middle class.”  Mendoza admits that parents have always found pleasure in dressing their children up, but questions this obsession with expensive items.  “Does it have to be with luxury items?”  She explains that this kid-sized status symbol market plays off the Hollywood baby boom.  “Buying Juicy Couture brings you closer to Angelina Jolie.  These pricey products are serving mainly adult fantasies of wealth, and not those of the children.”

But the message sent to young girls when they are encouraged to be bratty, demanding, and label-hungry is that expensive clothes bring attention, revere and acceptance.   Mendoza insists that these messages carry over into adulthood and can severely damage a woman’s understanding of herself.  “You are what you shop,” Mendoza says of the lesson parents are teaching their children with these extravagant clothes.  “Having is better than being.”

While this message certainly applies to young boys as well, Mendoza insists the growing fashion obsession in women can be demotivating.  “I have no doubt that the obsession with fashion is the new form of oppression of women and a way to depoliticize women.”   She urges women to think before they shop and asserts that brand-craving certainly should not be encouraged at such an early age.    “Shopaholics, anorexics, depression, all these diseases that affect mostly young women are somehow related to the fashion industry.”

Being a woman today requires a careful balance between our visceral, often culturally-created desire for beauty, and our most important goal: building ourselves up as women of substance.  Children are not accessories, and neither are we.  When I was in junior high, and I begged my mother to let me start shaving my legs, she told me repeatedly, “You have the rest of your life for that.  Why start now?”  We have the rest of our lives to figure out that balance, and let’s face it, we have a hard enough time remembering that bags and shoes don’t need to be the reason we command attention in a room.  Let kids be kids.

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