I’ve always been mystified by tattoos. The permanence, the colors, the designs, the needles, and especially the back-stories have captured my attention for years. It’s the willingness of people to make a permanent impact on their own bodies for such amazing and powerful causes that really moves me. It’s a process that has changed my views on beauty, expression, self-discovery and healing. Tattoos, although often considered taboo, have the potential to bring peace and happiness in ways no other act can. To me, that’s pretty cool.

Now on the opposite side of the spectrum, I’ve had friends who have gone out and inked themselves up simply to celebrate being young and rebellious. Forgive me if I offend, but so many of my friends tattooed themselves (last names on backs for the guys and random stars on feet for girls) that I almost lost it. Is there a point to randomly branding yourself with a collection of meaningless stars or your own name? Regardless of personal preference and what is considered “cool,” I want to highlight some truly amazing works of art I’ve come across recently.

For starters, I met a mom the other day who tattooed a tree on her back. It was her 50th birthday gift to herself representing 20 years of sobriety and growth. The woman had fought through alcoholism, a nasty divorce and raised three boys on her own. She said the tree was a constant reminder of her ability to keep growing. Poetic right?

Another girl uses her body as a sort of list of her accomplishments. Each time she overcomes a struggle or achieves an important goal, she gets a tattoo. Some of her tattoos represent participating in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure walk, graduating college and starting her own business. Now this process of achieving and inking isn’t exactly my style, but for her, it’s a perfect fit.

Finally I’ve met several girls in my time who get tattoos for more therapeutic reasons. The list could go on and on for those who have remembered deceased loved ones with tattoos and I’ll admit it’s something I’ve even considered myself. My friend Sara whose mother died from cancer (similar to mine) has the most beautiful tattoo of purple angel wings on her right thigh. When I asked her about them, she looked at me with a cheesy smile and said, “Purple was her favorite color, and now she’s always at my side.”

Whatever the reason people choose to get tattoos (as long as there is a reason), I think the potential exists for them to be an incredibly healing and nurturing experience. The absolute permanent marking of a symbol or message onto a person’s body can only mean that the choice to do so is an incredible story. Maybe the next time you encounter someone with some interesting tattoos, ask the obvious question. Why? The answers could really leave quite an impression.

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One basket at a time, Rwandan women are weaving their brutalized country back together. As citizens of one of the most devastated countries in the world, these women refuse to let the anger and bitterness from their land’s history affect its future. Rather, through self-sufficiency, hope and basket-weaving, they are leading their nation’s rebirth.

Between April and July of 1994, a swift and incomprehensible genocide swept through Rwanda over the course of 100 days. An estimated 800,000 Tutsi Rwandans and sympathizers were systematically slaughtered by their Hutu neighbors and militia with support from government and political leaders. While men were massacred, women and children were raped and mutilated. The terror left a population of only 30 % men and nearly 70 % women.

Coping with one of the gravest human atrocities in modern history is a considerable feat for any nation, let alone one with as tumultuous a past as Rwanda. But the country’s recovery has been remarkable and is now viewed as a model for other developing countries. In fact, a CNN foreign affairs analyst has even dubbed Rwanda as Africa’s “biggest success story.” And the country can thank its women for its present stability, economic growth, and rising education levels.

“I [saw] an opportunity to empower the women of Rwanda,” said Willa Shalit, reflecting on a 2003 trip where she first discovered the Rwandan women’s unique talent. By partnering with Macy’s and Gahaya Links, Shalit’s company Fairwinds Trading markets exquisitely handwoven baskets to American consumers for the Rwanda Path to Peace project. Proceeds are given to the artisan women who then invest their new-found income in their families.

“What I earn helps me take myself out of poverty,” attests weaver Justine in an interview with CBS. “Today I can buy a dress, I can feed my children.”

Moreover, these baskets benefit the nation as a whole as the project’s impact extends beyond individual family units. Through income made by weavers, entire villages can afford clean water and mosquito netting to combat deadly diseases. HIV-positive weavers can also better meet their medical needs with more access to healthcare and medication.

But the greatest impact is perhaps the least tangible. Another weaver, Dorcille Uwimana, reflects on the influence she and her fellow weavers have had on their homeland. “We have taught the country to move beyond hatred. We realized we cannot always be angry at each other. We have to weave. We have to make our lives better.”

For a country that has been torn asunder by inhumane man-on-man violence, reconciliation has been accomplished through women. And it is women who are the breadwinners, the catalysts, and the leaders.

The Rwandan widow-weavers prove what has been an increasing realization – that channeling aid to women and girls is the best way to combat global poverty and extremism. As New York Times reporters Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn write, “women and girls aren’t the problem; they’re the solution.”

Baskets are available for purchase from Macys.com.

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This past week I had the chance to speak with Anjelica and Ariel of the budding nonprofit, One is Greater Than None. These two girls, along with six others, started a organization at age 14 to raise money to save trafficked children in Ghana, Africa. After discovering it would require approximately $4,300 to save just one child, the enterprising young ladies decided to craft bracelets attached to cards that would educate people about the troubles in the African nation. There also were T-shirts, emblazoned with their logo, “1>0,” complete with the tag line “Be Part of the Equation.” Since their humble beginnings in 2007, the girls have raised over $100,000 and helped 48 children.

The girls, now 16, are moving on to help people in rural parts of the U.S. with Remote Area Medical (RAM), an organization supplying free medical care to rural areas. The mission is to motivate people by showing that even the smallest amount can help change the world.

Before seeing the Oprah episode “The Boy Oprah Couldn’t Forget,” what made you girls want to start a charity?

Ariel: Well, we all come from fairly comfortable backgrounds and families that involved us in charitable things since we were young.

Anjelica: We wanted to do something fun with our friends.

Who are some of the people the One is Greater Than None girls look up to?

Ariel: Oprah! Ah, Pam Cope who started Touch a Life. She helps orphanages around the world. She’s like a saint ― honestly the most amazing person! Eric Peasah from the International Organization for Migration. Oh, and Taylor Swift!

Anjelica: Yes!

Unison: TAYLOR SWIFT!

Ariel: We are in love with Taylor Swift! She knows who she is and she’s just a great role model.

Anjelica: We blast her music in the car when we’re all headed somewhere together and sing along!

 

 

The simplicity of this organization and the amount of impact it has is inspiring. Is there a lot of planning? What is a typical week for the girls like?

Ariel: Every Sunday there’s a meeting with all eight girls and sometimes the moms. Everyone is in charge of a certain something. We get help from parents on things we can’t do because of our age.

Anjelica: We usually do one charity a week. It’s great having eight girls because two girls can go here and two girls go there.

So much has happened with One is Greater Than None in the last two years. Are you overwhelmed with the amount people have given?

Ariel: I’m in shock that this is even happening, that we’ve been able to do so much in such a short time. People give so much!

How do you balance school, running a life-saving nonprofit and a personal life?

Ariel: Time management! It’s sort of like: Alright, Sundays ― make 20 bracelets; Saturday ― do all my homework in the morning then go hang out with friends.

Anjelica: I’ve learned how to manage time from being in the charity.

Ariel: Yeah, there’s not as much room for procrastination.

You ladies have accomplished so much at such a young age. In the midst of everything do you feel put together?

Ariel: I’m confident but am still learning who I am. As far as school and social life, I’m still learning how to feel put together.

Anjelica: This charity has helped shape who I am today. I’m a more mature person, more put together than if I hadn’t done this.

Your mission statement says that “any contribution, no matter how small, has value.” How can people be part of the equation daily, weekly, monthly or yearly?

Ariel: As far as helping the charity, you can donate, buy jewelry and spread the word. Organize something at school for us. We LOVE speaking at middle schools and high schools because students are so impacted by our message! For the world, any random acts of kindness. Just try to make the world a better place. There are so many different ways to help and get involved.

Anjelica: Definitely volunteer your time.

To donate to One is Greater Than None, purchase jewelry or clothing please visit Oneisgreaterthannonoe.org.

And remember, “Any contribution, no matter how small, has value.”

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As a number of governments, including Britain and France, have approached passing censorship laws on advertisements, a number of critical discussions have come to light in the courtroom. Some parliamentarians have speculated that censorship is this or that while others fully support the policies. The biggest arguments have been over the literal versus the emotional. The debate between advertising as a business expense and advertising as art is a huge battle being played on the ethical playground.

In the wake of the current technological revolution, advertisers have been caught in a creative vice. Though the use of traditional media like television, radio and print play a vital part in any advertising campaign, marketers are finding target markets harder to reach. Glitz and glam no longer catch the attention of specific demographics as most are over media-saturated. In efforts to wade through the online noise and social media clamor, advertisers have taken to guerilla tactics in order to captivate their audience. Innovative collaborations include:

• Numerous bikes spray-painted neon orange were left all over New York City to promote DKNY.com. The bikes were located in front of coffee shops and chained to street poles at major intersections with the Web site painted on the side.

• Piles of mock gold bullions complete with the phrase “If you have me, I was stolen” were planted throughout the streets of London promoting artist Paul Insect’s latest exhibit.

• Aqua Teen Hunger Force created Lite-Brite type advertisements all over Boston to promote the Adult Swim Network show. The ads caused several large traffic shutdowns when they were mistaken for bomb threats.

Although it is exciting to see artistic creativity displayed through marketing there can be a serious danger in associating advertising with art.

With certain marketing tactics advertising can take a manipulative turn for the worst as marketers work to draw an audience to have an emotional connection with the product, idea or person. This was wildly popular throughout the mid-90s thanks to brands like Saturn and Coca-Cola and has now become standard practice in promotional planning. Advertisers have consistently found that if an audience has an emotional connection with a product, a loyal customer can be forged. Ethical lines begin to blur as speculation asks if this particular advertising strategy has an association with brainwashing.

The important thing to keep in mind is that although advertising is vital to advance in business and commerce, a solid system of checks and balances should be formed. Advertising needs a clean frame to work inside of and until a better solution is created the censorship debate will rage on.

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Bikini babes frothing up vanilla lattés at your local coffee shop. Bootie short-clad ladies flipping patties at the latest grub truck. A young coquette in gold skivvies sensually sampling burgers on the beach. Sounds like a perverse fast-food fantasy, right?

Unfortunately these culinary catastrophes are no object of the imagination — they’re the latest trend sweeping the food scene. And although it’s not news that sex sells, restaurants — both mobile and stationary — are capitalizing on their employees’ bodies and promoting objectification that is not only offensive but also downright disgusting.

At Baby’s Badass Burgers mobile truck, which sets out on its maiden voyage on Monday, female employees will wear itsy-bitsy boy shorts while serving up burgers like the Cougar (aged beef and black truffles) or the Hot Chick (buffalo chicken with bleu cheese). At Bikini Espresso in Torrance, women whip up coffees while wearing two pieces. Bikini Espresso’s website even has the audacity to claim that it is a health-driven purveyor. But it’s not just the social implications that are unhealthy here — it’s the issue of health and safety of the female employees.

Dianne Lee, senior health inspector for the South Bay District, says, “Basically, the law says that they have to have a protective garment. My interpretation of the [California Retail Food Code Section 113971] law would say that the bikinis would not pass my inspection.”

And while some women claim that strutting their female figures is a form of empowerment, serving up $5 burgers in bootie shorts seems to cross the line. This is not embracing your inner goddess; this is self-defamation.

What would Susan B. Anthony say to these young women and the entrepreneurs who are pimping them out for profit? Is this the next wave of the war against women?

All I can say is that when the Fishlips sushi truck jumps on board, it’s time to burn some bras (and go vegan).

Photo credit: Baby’s Badass Burgers

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Whether you believe homosexuality is biologically hardwired or a matter of choice, the fact remains that our society has been living in a hetero-homo binary. You’re either gay or straight – maybe bi – and that’s it. These three categories have been considered to be mutually exclusive and sexual identity to be as simple as checking the applicable box. But as many will tell you, it’s not that easy.

For women, maybe love really is blind when it comes to gender. Within the past few years, a new understanding of female sexuality has emerged. Studying the growing number of women leaving men for other women, researchers have coined the term “sexual fluidity” to explain the collapsing boundaries of sexual orientation.

Cynthia Nixon, star of Sex and the City, became one of the most high-profile cases of sexual fluidity when she began seeing a woman after ending a 15-year relationship with a man. She told the Daily Mirror, “I have been with men all my life and had never met a woman I had fallen in love with before. But when I did, it didn’t seem so strange. It didn’t change who I am. I’m just a woman who fell in love with a woman.”

Lisa Diamond, associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, is accredited for bringing this controversial subject to the academic table. Her 2008 book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire explores the changing nature of female sexuality, citing scientific research and her own studies of nearly 100 women who have experienced same-sex attraction.

“People always ask me if this research means everyone is bisexual. No, it doesn’t,” Diamond tells O, The Oprah Magazine. “Fluidity represents a capacity to respond erotically in unexpected ways due to particular situations or relationships. It doesn’t appear to be something [anyone] can control.”

And as research suggests, this fluidity is more common in women than men. In a ground-breaking 2004 study at Northwestern University, both gay and straight female subjects became sexually aroused at heterosexual and lesbian erotic films. Male subjects, on the other hand, responded only toward films aimed at their sexual orientation. Since past research has been conducted mostly on men, this report opened the field on female sexuality and has encouraged further studies that have since supported women’s greater capacity for sexual vacillation.

But sexuality isn’t limited to the physiological phenomenon of blood rushing to genitals. Emotions play a huge part in who we find attractive, and Diamond has discovered that sexual fluidity stems from “being attracted to the person, not the gender.”

In an interview with the Boston Globe, Diamond quotes one woman who revealed that “deep down, it’s just a matter of who I meet and fall in love with, and it’s not their body, it’s something

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Anytime someone pulls out their camera and starts to snap candid shots, my palms begin to sweat a little. Although I try to look engaged in the conversation and blissfully unaware of the photographer, I’m constantly using my peripheral vision to ensure I’m smiling or casually laughing when the camera’s pointed my way. We all want to look good in photos even if we hate having our picture taken.

So instead of fearing the camera lens, here are some tips to help embrace your looks and learn how to become instantly photogenic!

Posing

· Practice makes your pose perfect. Work out some camera-ready stances in the mirror. It may feel silly, but at least you won’t be caught off guard the next time a camera’s flash goes off. Why do you think celebrities always strike such a calculated pose? They know how to look their best because they’ve practiced!

· Want to look instantly slimmer? Just put one foot out in front and turn your body slightly to the side, including your shoulders. Then put your hands on your hips to draw attention to your natural waist (it’s the smallest part of you).

· Press your tongue up against the roof of your mouth. This tightens the muscles at the bottom of your face and gets rid of a vicious double chin.

· Get full lips by simply looking at the camera and saying “wogan” — strange, but models swear by it.

· To minimize your thighs when sitting down in a photo, lean forward and put your elbows on your knees. If you don’t feel the need to cover your thighs, then be sure and sit up straight. Good posture is always important and makes you appear slimmer.

· If you’re worried about dark circles or puffiness under your eyes, lift your chin slightly to ensure no unsightly shadows appear on your face.

· Most importantly, smile! Looking drab à la Greta Garbo isn’t necessarily the best way to remember a happy occasion. Believe it or not, everyone really does look instantly more attractive when they smile.

Makeup

· If you’ve got blemishes, you may feel inclined to pour on the foundation for the illusion of flawless skin — but think again. Excessive makeup will show up in a photo, so try going a little more natural. Only use cover-up on your blemishes and then put some loose powder on for a matte finish — particularly on your t-zone, the oiliest part of your face.

· Flatter your best features by picking either your eyes or your lips — never play up both. If you’ve got a great pout, then throw on some shiny lipgloss. If you love your eyes, consider some false lashes or eyeliner and mascara.

· Blush will give your face some liveliness. Put it on the apples of your cheeks for a little color that will go a long way in each photo.

With these savvy tips you’re sure to have a great photo just about every time. Just remember to play up your best features, trick the camera to love the features you aren’t so crazy about and always flash a smile.

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That Girl Changing the World

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There is a pivotal scene in Blayne Weaver’s new romantic comedy, Weather Girl, in which the younger brother of the title character yells that it’s time for her to grow up and get a “real” job. The character—a thirty-something who just lost her boyfriend, her apartment, and her job– stands in shock for a moment, almost dumbfounded that anyone would suggest such a thing. The actress behind her, Tricia O’Kelley, knows that it is such a struggle that makes the success so much more worthwhile when it finally comes.

“Did I sometimes question if I was doing the right thing? Sure,” she admits. “But I really believe you have to follow your gut. I always said that if one day I woke up, and I thought it was no longer worth it, then I’d move on. Thankfully, I never got to that [place].”

When the Weather Girl script landed on her desk, O’Kelley was already co-starring on CBS’ The New Adventures of Old Christine with her real life BFF Alex Kapp Horner. She loved Weaver’s writing so much, though, she knew she wanted to help him get the project made at any cost—literally. Though there can be quite a bit of debt associated with independent film, O’Kelley never wavered and never had a second thought about pulling double-duty and stepping into a producer role for the first time.

O’Kelley, who graduated with a degree in Film and Television Production from the University of Wisconsin at Madison, has always wanted to just tell great stories, and she never let anything stand in her way or tell her she couldn’t. ‘It’s most rewarding when [you get a group of people together] who really want to do the project,” she explains. “That’s true independent filmmaking: it isn’t about “Oh, the money’s good, so yeah, I guess I’ll take [the role].” You have to really believe in the project and all of the people involved.”

It just seemed a natural progression, then, for her to take on the added behind-the-scenes responsibility if she wanted to see this project get its proper due. And O’Kelley managed to pull it together– though admittedly learning as she went along and by bringing her friends (like Kapp Horner) and past co-stars along with her.

“Honestly, that was one of the most refreshing things,” O’Kelley says so warmly she can’t be anything but smiling. “To go out to these people and have them love the script and believe in it as much as I did.” Though the dressing rooms were pretty much closets; there was often no heat; and top-billed actors like Blair Underwood, Enrico Colantoni, and Mark Harmon were working for a mere fraction of what they normally did, one by one they all signed onto O’Kelley’s “little film that could.” It is a true testament to the importance and influence of O’Kelley herself that so many would do whatever they could because they believed in her.

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Remember when you were in school and there was a prescribed reading list to delve into over the summer? Back then, you might have viewed that list as a chore (homework for the entire summer), but now that you’re a bit older and wiser, you realize diving into a great story can enhance your vacation. Here are just a few literary adventures to embark on this season:

Pack in Your Beach Bag
Commencement
J. Courtney Sullivan

Whether you’ve just graduated or those fond college memories are a bit further in the distance, Sullivan’s debut novel will have you reconnecting with former classmates. The story follows four young women who meet their first year at Smith College as they undergo the ups and inevitable downs of academia as well as its real-world aftermath. Far from standard chick lit, this book has a serious side thanks to compelling, educated leading ladies who still have a lot to learn.

In-Flight Reading
Requiem for a Paper Bag: Celebrities and Civilians Tell Stories of the Best Lost, Tossed, and Found Items from Around the World
Davy Rothbart

This treasure trove may inspire you to sift through finds at the local thrift store once you reach your destination. The publisher of the magazine Found, which prints notes and letters people find on the street, delivers this anthology of musicians, writers, entertainers and artists as they detail unique items they’ve come across. The compilation is a bit of a scavenger hunt but there are several hidden gems from the likes of Chuck D, Andy Samberg and Sarah Vowell.

Experience the Book before Seeing the Movie
My Sister’s Keeper
Jodi Picoult

Sure it’s up on the big screen with stars like Cameron Diaz, Jason Patric and Abigail Breslin, but this moral odyssey is worth contemplating in print. Thirteen-year-old Anna Fitzgerald was born with a unique birthright — she was designed by her parents to save her sister Kate who has been battling leukemia since she was two. In an effort to have a say in her destiny, Anna seeks to be medically emancipated from her parents. It might get a bit overly melodramatic, but the tale of a family simultaneously torn apart and brought together by a devastating illness is worth the read. You can always see it in the theater or rent it later.

Just for Kicks
What Would Keith Richards Do?: Daily Affirmations from a Rock and Roll Survivor
Jessica Pallington West

Have you ever found yourself in a tricky situation and wondered what would the legendary Keith Richards do? Probably not, but it’s still entertaining to take in the Rolling Stones guitarist’s musings enclosed in the pages of this affirmative guide. We can only hope someone comes out with a What Would Joan Jett Do? counterpart in the near future.

photo by margo conner

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