Will the Real Men Please Stand Up?!?
blog by Alexis Jones

Several of the girls from the magazine went to the pre-screening of He’s Just Not That Into You at my favorite theater in LA, The Grove. Naturally, we walked out cracking up at all the different stereotypes of girls and how each of us knew someone who epitomized every role…from the hopeless romantic, to the lustful vixen, to the overly apologetic, to the independent career chick.

However, despite the colorful cast, the soap opera structure and drama filled storyline, the one overriding theme that we could all agree with was that FAR too often we make excuses when guys are fundamentally not interested in us, period. We all laughed at being victims of this pathetic justification when Captain Obvious was starring us in the face, screaming, “Actually, the reason he never called is because HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.”

Recently, I had an epiphany. After giving my number to a guy (a name I will respectfully not include, so let’s just call him “Alex”), he contacted me and invited me to a Saturday morning breakfast. After I didn’t reply, he followed up with, “Yummy food… good coffee too perhaps… engaging interaction…” And I’m thinking, that’s cute enough, sure why not Alex; so I responded with, “Lovely. Let me know when and where…” Then… NOTHING.

No call, no text, no nothing. Immediately I start with the obvious explanations; he lost his phone, he got in a car accident and is in a coma in the hospital, he had blunt trauma to the head causing amnesia, was kidnapped, is a Superhero and international crime had beckoned him to Prague. Trust me, we get creative.

Either way, it occurred to me that the whole reason I was doing this in the first place was to keep this guy from looking like a total and complete jerk. If anything, it’s not so much for our own pride that we refuse to accept someone simply isn’t interested in us, it’s our selfless attempts to mask bad behavior and keep our hope alive that there are actually good men in this world.

After all, guys are JUST as confusing as they claim we are; why waste your time asking a girl out, putting forth the energy in the first place or making the first move when you have no intention of following up on the offer? Part of me is writing this blog for the Alex’s of the world; we’ll stop being psycho, if you stop faking us out and leading us on and giving us false expectations. Here’s the deal: don’t call or ask us out if you’re going to flee the country the following morning and maybe we’ll stop coming up with ridiculous stories to cover up your tracks.

So I’m sticking to my original story, Alex was unable to meet me for breakfast or even text me that we were, in fact, not meeting that morning because he was… he was… well… damn. I got nothing. Ladies, no more excuses for the boys of this world. Will the real men please stand up? Lord knows Alex and his entourage of MIA-ers are sitting cross-legged, heads down, starring straight at the floor like the toddlers of the world.

In the meantime, ladies, stay strong. It’s like sifting through a sea of bad clothes in a thrift shop. You have to patiently await that one twelve dollar treasure that everyone will envy when you return home adorning a priceless, vintage Prada dress that looks as though it were tailor made for your body alone. He’s out there, and while the others are just not that into you, my goodness, the right one will be.

As for Alex, even if you are the most gorgeous black man I have ever seen in my entire life, you just missed the best thing that ever happened to you, your loss.

boyfriend, boys, guys, he's just not that into you, relationship