They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.”  It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.  You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job…and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger.  You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t.  One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.  You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.  You feel alone and scared and confused.  Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.  You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.  Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.  Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.  One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.  Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.  You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!  What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.  We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.  Send this to your twenty-something friends… maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion… “I bend but I do not break.”

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Alexis: I’m hoping for a roundtrip ticket to India, (a place I’ve been dying to visit for years), a new pair of swim goggles so I can properly train for my triathlon without getting chlorine in my eyes and, naturally, my handsome Prince Charming in a shiny package and bright bow.

Carrie B.: This festive season all I want is a fantastic day of fun and relaxation with my wonderful urban family.

Emily: This Christmas/Chanukah I wish that despite my family being on separate sides of the country, we still feel the same sense of togetherness and love that we always have in the past.

Morgan (in her younger days) at Christmas.

Morgan: A full-time job that still allows me to dedicate myself to iatg, a swanky apartment and much more time with loved ones.

Sophia: I wish for rest, relaxation, and reflection. This past year has been a crazy roller coaster (both good and bad), and a lot of changes are in store for 2010. I can’t wait to go home and share with friends and family everything that has happened in the past year and will happen in the next.

Sarah: My recent move to the sunny skies of L.A., where I remain approximately 600 miles away from my immediate family, means that Christmas and the holiday season are one of the few times in the year when I can spend quality time with everyone I know and love. As always, I am wishing health, happiness and success for my loved ones. I also wish people embrace a more positive outlook as we approach a new decade. This year has been tough for many, but I wish (and hope) that we distance ourselves from the negative forces, and instead welcome the new year with a smile and positivity beaming on our faces.

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Image courtesy of the Associated Press

The Hollywood Reporter hosted its annual Women in Entertainment Breakfast on Friday, December 4 at The Beverly Hills Hotel in Beverly Hills, California. The breakfast pays respect to the top 100 women in the entertainment industry, recently ranked in a special issue of the magazine. Attendees included Eva Longoria Parker, Hilary Swank and Halle Berry who was presented with the Sherry Lansing Leadership Award. Other notable guests were AnnaLynne McCord (from the CW’s 90210), Camryn Manheim and Nicole Sullivan. The event’s main sponsors were Audi, Damiani Jewellers and L’Oreal. Those included in the top 100 list spoke with news affiliates on the red carpet about what it means to be a woman in the entertainment industry, whether they are an actress, producer or CEO. Some revealed the industry is still a “boys club,” noting that they had definitely experienced struggles and obstacles in their profession. Some even described it in the sociological term of having to break through the “glass ceiling.”

The day began with a champagne reception before the breakfast commenced in the Crystal Ballroom, where over 500 guests were seated. Eva Longoria Parker took to the stage first to talk about the importance of mentors in her life. She described how she was raised in a very selfless family and feels deeply passionate that it is “my responsibility to give back.” Hilary Swank spoke about how “success means becoming your best successful self” and noted how far she has come in her life from the kid who was raised in a trailer park. There was a very strong sense of unity in the decidedly female audience, especially as Swank concluded that “I hope we continue to support each other.” Finally, Halle Berry was welcomed on stage as she was presented with the much-respected Sherry Lansing award. The actress spoke at length about women who have inspired her over the years, most notably her fifth-grade teacher whom she used to have “cookie talks” with consisting of deep conversations and the baking of cookies together.

The entire ceremony was a success and brought together a hugely talented and inspirational group of women. Support and mentorship were the key components, not only of the breakfast but within the industry.

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Every other Thursday has long been earmarked as an evening to catch up with the girls. We usually head for our local bar because it’s rustic, homely and proffers a fine glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. It’s something of a home-from-home, similar to being around a kitchen table and a perfect opportunity to catch up on the week’s events. Amongst my closest allies (and fellow Bellists) are a nurse (J), first-grade teacher (D) and a jeweller (L). These ladies are the stalwarts of my life, keeping me sane and offering insurmountable wisdom, love and advice. The evening informed me that J is still blissfully enamoured to her long-term partner, and not-at-all hoping for an imminent proposal (and if you believe that, you’ll believe anything!). D has recently had some exciting news; an opportunity to teach in Singapore has arisen, so she will sadly be leaving us at the end of the year. But her anecdotes from across the world will no doubt make for some excellent Thursday fodder in her absence. Camp L was less buoyant. She had been seeing a delightful man in London, but time, distance and dwindling romantic interest from both parties meant she had decided to break it off. Many condolences followed, but in this life it’s imperative not to settle for something less than spectacular, so it remains to be seen what the next chapter will hold for her. As for myself, I date, as we all do, sometimes more successfully than others, and recently an old flame has been rekindled. But I don’t want to jinx it.

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Image courtesy of Garnet Gardenia

We all know her. That girl who has every piece of jewelry imaginable, seemingly every lipstick shade on the planet, and even donates her spare time to saving orphanages. So when the holidays roll around, what can you possibly buy this supergal?  For every wanna-be-recessionista desperate for a clue, here are a few gifts that might offer some refreshing and cost-friendly options.

That Philanthropic Girl

If this really is the season of giving, you can give two-fold by making a donation in your gal pal’s name to her (or your) favorite charity. Google and other search engines have made tracking down a charity relatively easy, but here are a few quick examples:

The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

Kiva: Loans that Change Lives

The Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation

The Jonsson Cancer Center Foundation at UCLA

And of course, iatg.

That Reader Girl

A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore is the author’s newest bestseller. Perfect for all of us girls who appreciate a strong, female voice for the 21^st century. Also try The Year of the Flood, Margaret Atwood’s sequel to Oryx and Crake.

That Cozy Girl

You can never have too many T-shirts, especially when they are so cozy, you’ll just want to live in them. I know that $80 for a T-shirt seems a bit much. But trust me, your fashion-forward friends will know you truly care with this Alexander Wang number and they can wear it out by sporting it all day, everyday to work or just to hang out. They run big and are dry-clean only, but a little known secret is that they shrink to the perfect size if you machine wash. It only adds to their magical softness!

That Moisturizing Girl

Laura Mercier’s Body Crème works both as a moisturizer and fragrance. They come in gift sets, but the crème on its own is enough ― maybe even better. It comes in four flavors, which are all fabulous, especially the Almond Coconut.

That Working Girl

Picking out work clothes can be boring and colorless, but thanks to American Apparel’s Sheer Luxe Shapes Pantyhose, you can give the gift of patterns. Great to be flaunted (or concealed) in any place of business or for after-work drinks.

That Fashionista Girl

Selected as one of Time magazine’s Top 100 Design Influencers, photographer Scott Schuman has created a revolution in fashion photography with his blog, The Sartorialist. Now, your in-the-know fashionista friend can log off her laptop and cozy under the covers with the book form, appropriately titled, The Sartorialist.

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Image courtesy of JuliTastic

“The Sexiest Vegetarian.” That’s just one campaign from PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), famous for having a large celebrity following and actively relying on celebrity endorsements. These star-fueled promotions boost their influence and relevance while promoting their position within the media. Previous “sexy” winners have included Leona Lewis, Kristen Bell and Alicia Silverstone. In addition, Silverstone, a longtime supporter and campaigner for animal rights and vegetarianism has recently released her cookbook, The Kind Diet.

PETA also publicly attacks large corporations for their mistreatment of animals, notably KFC, McDonald’s and Burger King. Advertising sells and pictures speak a thousand words, especially when they feature celebrities adorned in different types of vegetables with the message “Let Vegetarianism Grow on You.”                                   

Vegetarianism plays an extremely prominent role in current society. A poll sponsored by the Vegetarian Resource Group in 2004 estimated that 2.8 percent of adult Americans consider themselves vegetarians, up from 2.3 percent in 2000. More recently, a 2008 study published by the Vegetarian Times Magazine entitled “Vegetarianism in America” showed that the number of U.S. adult vegetarians stands at about 7.3 million (3.2 percent). Another 11.9 million (5.2 percent) claims to be interested in vegetarian diets.

Image courtesy of Ricoo

The health benefits of a vegetarian diet probably remain one of the main factors for the increased interest. Combined with ongoing research worldwide suggesting too much meat consumption can be linked to a variety of illnesses and diseases such as high cholesterol and a higher risk of cancer, people are increasingly becoming more knowledgeable and concerned with the effects of a diet revolving around meat. A study from Loma Linda University in California found that vegetarians live an average of seven years longer. Research shows that generally those who follow and maintain a vegetarian diet consume fewer calories and less fat than those who do not.

On the opposing side, weight loss cannot be seen as a guaranteed result of vegetarianism, given that substituting large quantities of high fat foods such as cheese and nuts can certainly lead to weight gain. Furthermore vegetarians may find it easier to succumb to a diet heavy in carbohydrate-laden foods such as pasta and bread in replacement for meat products. Despite this, vegetarians are less likely to suffer from weight-related disorders such as strokes or heart disease. According to the American Dietetic Association, “Vegetarian diets offer a number of nutritional benefits including lower levels of saturated fat, cholesterol as well as higher levels of fiber, magnesium, potassium.”

With such powerful factors as the media as well as ongoing research advocating the added health advantages of a meat-free diet, has the public in fact taken note and turned a corner towards a vegetarian lifestyle? Researchers on the subject argue that vegetarianism is not on the rise. An increased awareness regarding the dangers of eating animal products as well as its newfound popularity and more accessibly to healthy options may be the real reasons why vegetarianism has increased in proportion.

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Image courtesy of gavorama

A few months ago, after confessing I could not complete a single push-up, my 94-year-old grandfather demanded that I begin to work out with a trainer. By demand, I mean that he both insisted and began to fund my personal training endeavors, which was a proposition I could not refuse. My grandfather works out with a trainer twice a week, and would certainly beat me at arm wrestling.

The entire “incident” when my weakness was revealed, took place during polite conversation at a family dinner after I mentioned that a close female friend had recently been “beaten up” in an upscale part of Los Angeles outside of a friend’s house party. My friend was said to have held her own, but after clawing and hair-pulling, multiple partygoers eventually separated them. When my grandfather asked what I would have done in the situation, I informed him I would probably be paralyzed with shock. Not only did I not know how to fight, but I did not have the strength to throw a convincing punch.

My answer was definitely honest. After a zealous dance career throughout high school, my post-college fitness routine had involved running on a treadmill and walking my dog. I had no upper body strength let alone fighting experience (unless you count a self-defense class when I was ten). So a few days later I got a call from my grandfather’s trainer to set up sessions. Initially, I was nervous that I would be embarrassed in a gym full of bodybuilders and also worried my friends would see this new interest in fitness as a weight loss attempt. But I knew I needed to experiment with weights for years, reminded not only by my nagging (but sincerely concerned) mother, but also by my true inability to lift anything of remote significance. After sweating through my first training session of humiliating five-pound weights, I realized I was actually receiving a genuine and valuable gift from my wise grandfather.

I am not learning to fight (for now), and I realize that I am fortunate enough to live in a place where my life is not in immediate physical danger. But that does not belittle the necessity to build strength. I am aware of the vanity benefits associated with exercise, but vanity and safety intersect at the place where the incentive to look fit yields a healthy lifestyle. In the long term, it helps prevent the risk of osteoporosis, heart disease, diabetes and depression.

I realize that most of my peers do not consider these immediate dangers or concerns. So for the near future, I am slowly building confidence along with muscles. It’s not the confidence that comes from tightened abs, although that never hurts, but more the notion that maybe, if I had to throw a few punches, I might be able to create enough of a distraction so I could at least run away. For now, my goal is to complete two push-ups.

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Image courtesy of Ariana Reines

Last spring, I had the honor to experience the inquisitive honesty and eloquent intelligence of Ariana Reines. As UC Berkeley’s guest for the semester, Reines shared three hours a week with twenty twenty-somethings (herself included) to focus on poetry. Reines has always accepted the title of poet, as one might have to acknowledge anything else that comes as a birthright.

“To be a poet is something you’re born with, it’s like a weird vocation, I don’t see it as a respectable profession — it’s like having hemophilia,” states Reines.

At sixteen, Reines published her first piece and by twenty-six her first book, The Cow. But she also welcomes other forms of expression and all other experiences with an innate humbleness. This November, she debuted Miss St.’s Hieroglyphic Suffering as part of Works & Process at the Guggenheim in New York. The show is a spin-off from her award winning play Telephone, commissioned by New York’s Foundry Theatre and produced by the Cherry Lane Theater earlier this year. As Reines explains, “a lot of people really connected with the character in the second act of the play based on Karl Jung’s character Miss St.”

She did not expect to retool the piece for the Guggenheim, but always thought she would write an opera based on Miss St. But surprise projects seem to be common for Reines, who has an adventurous will to experiment in genres where she lacks experience and sometimes even interest.

“It was an honor to work in the theater,” testifies Reines. “It wasn’t something I had wanted to do. I don’t really know how to write a play.” Instead she cites the Foundry Theatre as making theater from her text, creating theater out of the impossible. “They know how to birth a piece of theater and follow it through,” she says.

When the Guggenheim approached her to commission a production, they originally suggested showcasing the second half of Telephone, because it featured the adored Miss St. Instead, a new reinterpretation of the text and character emerged, this time with a score. Miss St.’s Hieroglyphic Suffering approaches the previous work with a different perspective on the character, playing with theatrical technique by stretching out the scene and transforming it into a new shape.

“[We] re-excavated the text,” she explains. “It was really like a piece of music. It’s a thirty-minute monologue, so it has a lot of rhythm.”

So what makes Reines “that girl?”

She’s still figuring out how to answer that, but it seems obvious from her ambitious nature she accepts challenges with genuine interest and conquers them with intrinsic ease. “I am happy to try things that I don’t have any knowledge of,” Reines claims.

Reine’s humor is understated, ironic and simultaneously sophisticated. The first word that came to her mind when asked for one adjective her friends would use to describe her was “shoes.” Despite her multiple university degrees, she’s reinventing the voice of the 21st century by learning all over again, one medium at a time.

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I have been contributing to iatg for some time now, with fashion pieces as well as interesting features from UK news and current events. With the new look of the Web site, and Bellism-fever really taking pace here in the UK, I am now going to write a regular column about life, fashion, love, sex and all things fabulous. I really want to get a dialogue going with you guys, so make comments and ask questions. Bellists of the world unite!

In October, I had a meeting with a fashion photographer on the Isle of Wight. So one particularly unpleasant Thursday evening found me in the driving rain boarding a catamaran to be turbulently flung from city living to deepest rural England — complete with vintage butter-soft leather suitcase, crimson beret and thick houndstooth funnel-necked coat. The weather here really has been appalling; 70 mph winds, sideways rain that drenches you in seconds and leaves you battered, almost bruised with its ferocity. I plucked forth in my battered cowboy boots, a staple of my wardrobe for more years than I care to remember. They have seen me through three break-ups, two moves and numerous late-night beach barbeques, not to mention two resoles. With my winter investment coat I figured these old favourites would add a retro edge, and provide some much-needed protection.

The Scouting Book for Boys Premiere

Despite the weather, my meeting went well and I returned to civilization almost refreshed. (It must have been the country air!) The week to follow was yet another busy one, with a couple of article deadlines, an e-mail campaign and a number of interesting rendezvous. Wednesday saw me take to the rails again, this time to the premiere of The Scouting Book for Boys, a moving portrayal of friendship, coming of age and tragedy by hot new director, Tom Harper. I wore a fantastic vintage-style black and floral dress, opted for a beehive-inspired updo and super high heels. The film was spectacular, and it was incredibly interesting to chat with the actors, composer, director and writer about their journey. Being around a bunch of super-talents inspires you to get out there and live your dreams.

To be honest work dominated the rest of the month, deadlines and PR campaigns to organize and a fashion show to cover. For this I took along my darling photographer (R) for an evening of work and play. We dressed down, since I like to mix it up at fashion events. Rather than go for uber-glam, I often find the right balance of denim and sequins can do just as good a job as a full-on cocktail dress. The event showcased a number of new graduate designers, pitted against each other in the hope of winning support from more established local brands, as well as a much-needed cash injection. The event was spectacular and all was going swimmingly. I managed to network with some of Brighton’s finest fashionistas and PR gurus (it’s all about contacts, ladies!) as well as enjoy a couple complimentary cocktails to boot. However, it was far from my finest hour when I emerged from the ladies room to discover the winner had been announced, congratulatory murmurings were cascading around and my photographer was nowhere to be seen! Thinking on my feet, I grabbed my mobile phone from my vintage Dior clutch and snapped away, plucked the business card of the winner from her agent’s hand and headed out the door. Phew!

Always stay fabulous ladies!

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