We had the weekend off from working in the markets and we were on a mission to explore as much as possible with our time. On Saturday, we took a bus to Mitad del Mundo, or the center of the world, right outside of Quito. As cool as it sounds, there was really nothing there but a tall statue with a globe on it and a bright orange line which is supposed to mark the equator line. As it turned out, this is not even the actual equator (como dice “tourist trap?”).
Rather than giving up just yet, we took a bus a couple miles more to the Temple de Sol where the actual equator line lies. The bus did not drop us off in front of the museum though. Instead, we were let off at the bottom of a hill where the bus driver pointed upwards. As we climbed, the weather changed and we literally were surrounded by clouds. To realize how high we were in the sky, to look around at the peaks of the mountains beside us felt incredible. Immediately, our spirits lifted. The Temple was worth the trek up the hill. We stood on the actual equator, where we watched the tour guide balance an egg on a nail. Everyone in our group also tried to walk along it on a straight line with our eyes closed, but failed because of the gravity.
We stopped for empanadas and hot chocolate on the roof of the Temple, where we met a family who told us all about the surrounding area. What Paloma and I thought were mountains actually turned out to be a huge, dormant volcano. We both immediately warmed to this family. They way they interacted with us and amongst themselves was incredibly genuine and kind. After the museum, they took us to where the top of the volcano is and we looked down into the crater where they explained that this is where about 50 families live and it’s so hot that tropical fruits grow. They drove us all the way back to Quito and even took us out to lunch where they told us more about Quito and South American culture. Can you even imagine such a thing happening in the U.S? The two of us were on such a high from meeting such amazing people.
On Sunday, we took the bus a couple hours away to Mindo, which is in the middle of a rainforest. We met an American traveler on the bus who turned out to be really fun to hang out with and we all ended up exploring Mindo together. The pictures of this place do not do it justice. Tall, lush mountains surround the town, and even before we started heading up the trails, we could feel an immediate sense of safety and comfort in the town. The trails were beautiful; they were just as green and lush as the initial view promised, with butterflies flying all around us. After coughing up $3 a piece (very reluctantly), we made our way down a trail that led to the waterfalls. It had taken a couple hours, but the sight was completely rewarding.
It wasn’t only the sight of them that were rewarding though. At one of the waterfalls was a 36 foot high cliff off of which people were jumping. Tim (our new travel buddy) and I decided we had to jump—when else would we be in the middle of the rainforest with a such an opportunity? Paloma was completely bummed that couldn’t jump since she didn’t bring a bathing suit with her. When we climbed to the top of the cliff, Tim jumped in right away, while I looked down and got nauseous from the sight of the swirling waters below. After some hesitation, and some walking back and forth from the edge and making vomit signs to Paloma who was waiting to take the picture, I finally jumped in. And even though my legs hit the water with a loud SMACK, it was totally worth it. When I climbed out of the water, I was completely exhilarated. In fact, I was giddy, breaking out into giggles as I thought about what I had just completed.
Soon after this, it started to rain, and we began to make our way back, first up the trails, then down the hill on the back of a truck where we bumbled along, sheets of rain abusing us along the way. We stopped for delicious soup and arroz con pollo to warm us up, said goodbye to Tim and headed back home. Ecuador continues to amaze us and after such a wonderful weekend we are more sorry than ever to say goodbye so soon.
Our success in Ecuador continued today in spending more time with the children in the markets. We took pictures with them and oh how excited they were! They were eager to see what they looked like on film and I even had a couple of sisters dying to model for me. They dragged me to a scenic spot in front of a far wall and then grabbed my hand to promptly bring me to the slides for another photo op.
The more time we spend with these kids though, the more apparent their need for help is. One boy showed up with bruises and several of the children have cuts on their faces and bodies. As we all called out “Hasta Lunes” to each other on Friday, I wondered what situations many of these kids would go home to over the weekend. It is clear that some parents don’t want any responsibility for their kids. As Paloma experienced in here first day working in the markets, one woman simply handed her baby to her, saying “I’m leaving her in your care,” the woman obviously eager to get rid of her child for a few hours.
It seems like such a little thing—to play games such as “Simon Says,” to teach them the colors, to help them color pictures of clocks and cut out the hands to practice telling the time. But as I’m learning on this trip–this is actually the biggest thing you can do for a child—spend time with them and give them attention and affection. It is clear these kids have none of these things at home. Even with the little I can communicate with them, they are eager to climb into my lap at any opportunity, touch my hair, hold my hand and are desperate to hold on.
The parents of these kids are really just trying to survive and so they view their children as a means to help bring in income, handing their six or seven year olds bags of fruit to sell in the market. The children are treated like employees, rather than family—and it is clear how abandoned they are as a result. The evidence of abuse and neglectful parents is overwhelming.
The common thinking is that money is how change happens, that nothing big can happen in the world without money. Sure it helps. It makes things easier sometimes—I’m not going to lie that it helped get us to Ecuador. But the truth of it is that these kids really just need to be loved, be made to feel important, even for only a few hours a day. This is the real base of true change. Having interacted with these kids, I’ve realized how important the power of love is in our world today. The need for love and compassion in these kids’ lives is overwhelming. Letting go of their little hands every day is heartbreaking, however what we’ve imprinted in them will hopefully last a lifetime.
It is amazing how powerful this trip has been so far, life changing even. Both of us want to encourage all of you to have your every day experiences change you also. Let love change you. The power of showing compassion and love to those around you is incredible and it will move you to do things you never thought possible. You do not have to travel around the world or leave your home to do so. On the contrary, start where it matters most… your backyard. Don’t hesitate to let your family and friends know how much you care and love them. Help a neighbor in need. Smile at a stranger. Play with a kid. Lend an ear. Start a conversation. The atrocities in this world are countless, but the biggest one is the lack of love and compassion for the human life. I encourage and challenge every single one of you to practice what it means to love those around you and show compassion to those in need.
R and P
Today was our first day working with CENIT. We are so happy to be working with this organization because many of its goals are in line with those of I Am That Girl. Although CENIT opens its doors to both boys and girls, it places greater emphasis on helping girls to succeed (as its name suggests) because they recognize the greater obstacles that face young females in Ecuador. Girls are less valued but often have more responsibility placed upon them because in addition to helping the family sell items to contribute to the income, they are also expected to care for their younger siblings. 
CENIT is located in the slums of Quito, also called the barrios which is in the southern part of the city. Here there are several markets, some filthier than others. In one, banana peels and other fruits lay decomposing on the floor and the smell is overwhelming, if not unbearable. One of the programs that CENIT has created is to have volunteers head into the markets where there are many kids about—some selling things for their parents, others who wander with nothing to do, and all of whom have little chance at a real childhood or education. To top it off, most of the kids come from abusive families or live with alcoholic parents so they are constantly acting out and imitating what they see at home. Groups of volunteers work with the kids for a few hours, playing games, singing songs, emphasizing basic hygiene skills, and teaching simple skills that kids would learn in school.
Paloma and I each headed to the markets and spent some quality time with children. How so many of them simply longed for attention! Even though I don’t speak much Spanish, it was amazing how far just a friendly smile and holding their hand meant so much for many of them. I was lucky to still navigate my way though some basic one on one conversations with a few girls while we made clocks and practiced telling the time. Paloma had a similar experience while making bracelets with several girls. At the end of our time today, each of the girls kissed us on our cheeks and thanked us—so freaking cute.
Our work continues tomorrow and we are happy to have so much time left here, though it quickly seems to be running out. Paloma and I are also having great fun exploring more of the city (before dark that is!) and learning the bus system and the trolleys. The neighborhoods are all so much different from each other and there is so much to soak in. The people here continue to be some of the most friendly I have ever encountered and delicious food is literally on every corner.
R and P
Our day yesterday was going so well, amazing in fact. We were so proud of how productive the day had been, and headed over to a part of town called El Centro in the early evening. As soon as you enter this part of Quito, the history of the country overpowers you. There are intricately built churches and edifices that stand as confidently as old European castles. Statues of historical figures pepper the street corners and the plazas. We walked down narrow, cobble stone roads, where policemen smiled and pointed us to the best eateries and sights. Locals brewed a delicious cider drink in large pots along the road that tasted of citrus and cinnamon. Paloma and I joked about its healing powers and how wonderful and friendly the city was. We snapped pictures, stopped for empanadas (of course), and delighted in everything that surrounded us.
Before heading home in a cab, and while still drunk on the magic of the evening, we stopped in a large, open plaza in front of one of the old churches to record our first video blog. I pulled my phone out of my bag to check a missed call, while Paloma looked down at the camers to check the video we had just recorded. What happened next was a blur:
Three men came running at us, one of them carrying a huge stick, at least three feet tall. I watched a hand shoot out and grab hold of my phone. Immediately, my reaction was to hold on to the phone, and I held it close to me while the men shouted things I didn’t understand. “Si se mueven o gritan las vamos a asesinar.” I reacted as if a friend had tried playfully to grab my phone from me. It was then I noticed the huge stick of one of the men, and the man closest to Paloma held something in his fist also. Maybe a knife, we can’t really be sure anymore. My reaction wasn’t of fear, but rather shock. My whole body shut down, and since we were sitting on steps there was nowhere for us to run. They shouted again, “Si se mueven o gritan las vamos a asesinar!” It took Paloma screaming at me with all of the might she could produce, “Rosalind, give it to them!!” before I threw the phone at them. Immediately, they ran off, our goods in their hands.
It was such a whirlwind, it took Paloma turning to me and saying “We’ve just been mugged” for me to even process what had happened. We held hands and ran the 50 feet back to where the cars were, to where other people were, even where the cops stood idly by. Everyone had told us it was a safe area, and we had passed plenty of cops while we had romped through the streets. Yet the men had found the perfect time. They waited for the people to pass, they waited till we were busy with our toys and then came charging at us, perhaps knowing they only had a few minutes to get away with it.
We ran into the first cab that passed us, Paloma even falling in the process, we were so desperate to get out of there. The realization of the events hit us hard in the cab, as we started sobbing and hugging one another. “It’s okay, it’s okay” we had to reassure eachother. “It’s just a phone and a camera.” This was also when Paloma informed me that they were shouting at us death threats the whole time. In this case, I was glad to not know too much Spanish. “If you move or scream we will kill you” is not a phrase I ever hope to use or hear again for that matter. The cab driver called in the crime for us to the police station, surprised himself that such a crime would happen in that area. And at first we were grateful for his help. When we pulled up to our apt and he informed us that the cab ride was double the price of the ride we had taken to El Centro, we were over it. “Did he say siete?”, I asked Paloma. Even the cab driver had taken advantage of our misfortune, of our shaky nature that plagued us throughout the ride home.
What are the lessons here? Well, first of all, the lesson is not to be scared, but to be more aware. It was a reminder of why we are here in Quito, and how poverty can drive people to desperation. Even this morning, our routine varied radically. We left the apartment taking in the possibility that our bags might be stolen, and stuffed money and important phone numbers in one of our pockets. Yes, they targeted us because we were two women, two young women, and my blonde hair did a lot to inform them that I was not from around here. Paloma and I are already talking about taking self-defense classes when we get home. A man we met today at CENIT, a local non-proft, talked about his friend getting stabbed who resisted. Paloma’s response? “Next time that happens to us, I want to tell them, ‘If you touch me, I will kill YOU.’” We’ve got a lot of self-defense to learn before then, but we’re sure being invincible isn’t an impossibility.
Our goal for this trip were not only to change the lives of others but to learn about ourselves as well. Trust us, we are learning a lot!!
P.S. We promise we’ll make it home alive
R and P
So, we´re here. After several fundraisers, months of meetings and planning, our plane touched down in Quito, Ecuador last night. The entire family of a friend picked us up (her brother, uncle, grandma and grandpa), drove us to where we´re staying and showed us where the convenience store was (so we could buy toilet paper and toothpaste). They even surprised Paloma with a birthday cake!
Our first morning started with two television interviews. My stomach was jittery all morning, (and not from drinking the water), but with anticipation of going onto a television show in a language that I didn´t speak. Paloma, however, was envious of my position, wishing SHE was the one that didn´t have to speak. In the end, the interviews went smoothly, (thanks to Paloma). The first was a live talk show while the second was pre-recorded and which they´re going to add live footage of our work later in the week.
Even though I speak very little Spanish and am picking up parts of conversations mostly through context and cognates, it is immediately clear how friendly and open this culture is. I could seriously get used to it. Our cab driver hopped out of the cab to get us change for a 20, everyone kisses on the cheek, and the receptionist at one of the tv stations chatted away with us about The Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus while we waited to go on the air.
There are of course still the details of navigating our way through various cultural differences. For example, Paloma and I actually locked ourselves INSIDE our apartment because we couldn´t figure out how to unlock the door. It was of course when the landlord was running up the stairs to save us that Paloma tells me, ¨Why don´t you try just pushing the button?¨and presto, the door opened. The landlord was still incredibly helpful in helping us get out of second door (made up of black bars) and then proceeded to escort us down the stairs to our cab.
On our way inside of a plaza to find some grub in between the tv interviews, we stumbled across a hysterical child locked inside a car. ´´Uh, should we do something?¨ So we walked over, sure that our mission to help save the little girls of Quito was already upon us! If it was the US, the child wouldn´t be screaming long before child services was informed. But after talking with the girl, her mother came bumbling down the road from her shopping spree and proceeded to discipline the child. Well, at least the window was cracked!
While we had the opportunity to share with television viewers about the work I am That Girl is doing this morning for two different stations, the real work begins tomorrow, when we meet the girls we will be helping! We´re super excited!
R&P
18
Aug
Booties and Burgers? Bite this.
by Krista Simmons
0 Comments | Posted by thatgirl in 21st Century Bellist, Amuse Me, Making Waves
Bikini babes frothing up vanilla lattés at your local coffee shop. Bootie short-clad ladies flipping patties at the latest grub truck. A young coquette in gold skivvies sensually sampling burgers on the beach. Sounds like a perverse fast-food fantasy, right?
Unfortunately these culinary catastrophes are no object of the imagination — they’re the latest trend sweeping the food scene. And although it’s not news that sex sells, restaurants — both mobile and stationary — are capitalizing on their employees’ bodies and promoting objectification that is not only offensive but also downright disgusting.
At Baby’s Badass Burgers mobile truck, which sets out on its maiden voyage on Monday, female employees will wear itsy-bitsy boy shorts while serving up burgers like the Cougar (aged beef and black truffles) or the Hot Chick (buffalo chicken with bleu cheese). At Bikini Espresso in Torrance, women whip up coffees while wearing two pieces. Bikini Espresso’s website even has the audacity to claim that it is a health-driven purveyor. But it’s not just the social implications that are unhealthy here — it’s the issue of health and safety of the female employees.
Dianne Lee, senior health inspector for the South Bay District, says, “Basically, the law says that they have to have a protective garment. My interpretation of the [California Retail Food Code Section 113971] law would say that the bikinis would not pass my inspection.”
And while some women claim that strutting their female figures is a form of empowerment, serving up $5 burgers in bootie shorts seems to cross the line. This is not embracing your inner goddess; this is self-defamation.
What would Susan B. Anthony say to these young women and the entrepreneurs who are pimping them out for profit? Is this the next wave of the war against women?
All I can say is that when the Fishlips sushi truck jumps on board, it’s time to burn some bras (and go vegan).
Photo credit: Baby’s Badass Burgers
17
Aug
Argentina Confessions
by Alexis Jones
2 Comments | Posted by thatgirl in Ms Jones' Spoon Full
If New York and Paris could breed, Buenos Aires would be their beloved off spring. Like a child with the perfect blend of its two parents, Buenos Aires has the fast-paced New Yorker spirit and yet maintains the romantic features of Paris. I love her, I love Argentina for her welcoming arms, her electric pulse and her ability to take my breath away with her wine, her steak, her Cuban cigars, her dolce de leche and her men; all of which are exquisite.
Yesterday I had a deadline to meet (LA time) and so I rushed downstairs to grab a bite. Embarrassingly, I was slightly proud for forcing myself to even leave the office instead of my normal routine of working straight through lunch. I got to the restaurant a block away from our office and I quickly realized that I was the ONLY one eating alone in a very packed café. Immediately I asked for a salad When Harry Met Sally – style, I want this, but not that with this on the side and extra that. Not only does this absolutely drive my brother crazy, but it was a dead give away that I was a high maintenance foreigner.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that I was lonely and persnickety, I added “work-a-holic” to that already unattractive package as I whipped out my notebook, my iphone and my lap top at the table. Then worse, I have the audacity to ask the waiter if he can expedite my order because (as I glance at my watch) I have a conference call at 2pm. I received an appropriately annoyed glance and myopically proceeded with checking next week’s schedule for whether or not I could fit in a lunch on Tuesday… and I honestly wonder why guys don’t ask me out when I blatantly give every indication that I’m uninterested and too busy. Ha!
So there I was, my face buried in work, fully distracted by “to do” lists, deadlines, phone calls I haven’t returned and meetings. All of this minutia stole my attention so much so that I’d completely forgotten I was sitting in a beautiful café in Argentina. Then, like a scene in a movie, I’m interrupted by a gorgeous Argentinean Casanova and in a thick, Spanish accent God’s gift to women smiled and said, “excuse me, you seem very busy, but I couldn’t help but wonder your name and why it’s taken this long in my life to have finally found you.” Only in Argentina, with Antonio Banderas’ accent and Brad Pitt’s good looks could a guy get away with saying such a cheesy line and it actually cause my knees to buckle.
Due to my pathetic stammering and girly shyness, he spared my pride and simply invited himself to sit down. I was completely mesmerized by his cool confidence, laze fair swagger and his captivating smile that sucked me in and left me fumbling and mumbling for a response to his melodic, Shakespearean prose. It was then that my USA train going full steam ahead came to a screaming halt.
It’s like when you were a kid, walking in right after mom pulls fresh chocolate chip cookies out and your nostrils can’t possibly inhale fast enough the delectable delights’ strong fragrance. And that’s how they live; they revel in the present moment, soak up life experience like a sponge and bask in the relationships with people they love.
So I shut my notebook, my computer, slipped my phone into my purse and chose flirting over working. Harmless enough. I listened to him discuss his passion for Tango, his love of red wine and beautiful women. I appreciate Latin men and their ability to immediately fall madly in love with a stranger so convincingly that you actually wonder if you’re in love with them too.
I could help myself and finally asked this gentleman sitting before me, “So how often do you do this?” His confused, reply, “do what?” My (presumptuous) response, “you know, walking up to a complete stranger, inviting yourself to sit down and then drenching them with compliments.” His simple, and honest reply, “as many times as it takes to find her.”
I couldn’t hide my smile, for no other reason than, he was probably right. For all he knows, I could have been her. The reality is I wasn’t, his Princess and my Prince Charming still await both of us, but it was worth finding out. We chatted long enough to distract me from my planned schedule. When I realized the time I excused myself for a conference call, which I was now painfully late for. In the rush, he kissed my cheek and said I was lovely. I walked away blushing like a third grader who’d just been kissed by her crush.
Now, this isn’t a story of having met the man of my dreams on a romantic business trip to Buenos Aires; okay, maybe an hour long, café crush. But really, this was an epiphany for me. In spite of my wild ambition, my unbridled work ethic and the goals I’m conquering on a day to day basis, there’s still time, there has to be because love it worth it. What are work, accomplishments and accolades with no one to share them with? We must make time to play, to drink wine, and flirt with strangers, to laugh and giggle for no reason other than a handsome man calls you beautiful.
While I don’t plan on adopting a new personality, affording me the luxury of care free living, of meandering through this life’s journey and throwing caution to the wind and confessing my undying love to every stranger I find attractive, there’s certainly a sliding scale and it wouldn’t hurt me to take a few steps closer to a happy medium.
So my latest challenge was born: a little less work and a lot more play. A little less seriousness and a hell of a lot more laughing. A little less American and a TON more Argentinean. I’ll spend the rest of my trip soaking up as much Buenos Aires as humanly possible and hope work demands a quick return to this beautiful country.
14
Aug
Save Your Pennies While Cashing In
by Lisa Kestenbaum
0 Comments | Posted by thatgirl in 21st Century Bellist, Making Waves
It seems that everyone is feeling the bank account blues these days, and understandably so—pinching pennies can rain on anyone’s parade. But i am that girl loves a silver lining, so here’s a list of cool websites that are easy to use and offer free loot to boot! 
BeautyBlitz.com
The real beauty of the online magazine Beauty Blitz is the website’s Free Style section, where style mavens can win makeup, hair care, skincare and fragrances every day. Signing up is free and super easy—enter your name, address, email and age range—and you can immediately start entering to win awesome products. Plus, Beauty Blitz does not bombard your email inbox with junk mail, which is a beautiful thing!
Craigslist.com
Craigslist is a go-to for those on the job hunt or for when you finally decide to sell your decade-old beanie baby collection. But there’s another part of Craigslist that is often overlooked: the “Free” category. One click leads you to a page full of all kinds of free goods, from pianos to Playstations.
MyOpenBar.com
Every budget-savvy bellist deserves a fun night out and that doesn’t have to mean dipping into savings. Log on to MyOpenBar.com and find out where to head for a free (or dirt cheap) drink. While the site itself doesn’t require a membership, most of the listings ask you to RSVP.
Freecycle.com
Saving money can be as simple as going green—Freecycle is a nonprofit movement comprised of people who give, and get, free stuff. Sign up for a free membership and join your local Freecycle group (the site breaks it down by region) and help reuse what would otherwise be put into landfills.
MarieClaire.com
On the magazine’s Web site, you can enter to win something every day of the month. A handful of the giveaways are style or beauty products but the site also has items like luggage, food, tech gear and pieces for your home. Signing up to win is easy and there is no limit on how many days you can enter.
Aside from freebies, there are dozens of websites that provide coupons for everyday use, like groceries (CoolSavings.com), car maintenance (Car-pons.com) and restaurants (Restaurant.com). A few extra minutes at the computer could save you much more than a few extra bucks!
13
Aug
Location: Yokkaichi-shi, Mie-Ken, Japan
by Cailin White
0 Comments | Posted by thatgirl in 21st Century Bellist, That Girl
I once heard that living in a foreign country will highlight all your flaws. I never really understood how, or why that would happen before I personally made the attempt. But after living in Japan for the past year, I have come to realize it’s true.
I moved to Japan on a whim. I had never studied the language, nor was I fulfilling some lifelong dream of living abroad. My boyfriend was applying for a position, so I took a shot at it too. I didn’t think I had a chance at being accepted because I technically wasn’t eligible for the program. But fate must have had a hand in the decision. Maybe I was meant to discover something about myself. 
And discover I did. The information I have acquired about myself is not all pretty. My flaws were the first thing to come out of the closet when I made the move. One was the realization that I am painfully shy. It is a different experience to attempt to create a life among people whose language you do not share. It takes real courage to strike up a conversation in Japanese when you know that you can’t understand what is being said to you, much less speak yourself. I have a new found respect for all the people who live in America who don’t speak English. Some days I take the risk of feeling vulnerable and attempt to use the little Japanese I have acquired. But there are just as many, if not more, days when I find myself retreating into my shell, eyes down, praying to skate by unnoticed.
I have also been confronted with the ugly reality of how easily I can slip in to a “woe is me” attitude. The feeling of isolation is tough to handle and unbearably lonely at times. It’s easy to think about everything I am missing in California. Dinners with family, road trips with friends, a simple conversation with a coworker, these are all things that I do not have in Japan. I have learned that I am often my own worst enemy, wallowing in bad moods or bad days, rather than choosing to be happy. It’s tough to see everything you have, when you are focused on everything you want. This is perhaps one of the greatest challenges anyone will face, and yet also the most important. Happiness is what everyone searches for; the ironic part is that we can all have it. After all, “happiness is just a state of mind”.
I am grateful for the humbling experience of having my flaws surface for me to face. Maybe being shy isn’t even a flaw, but in my world it is. I want to stand up for myself and be the kind of person who can talk to everyone. I have met people like that and I am amazed at their ability to communicate with a limited handful of words. It is imperative that I work on myself out here, which is why I believe these self-realizations have sprouted. There is no more familiar, and there is nothing to hide behind anymore. It’s time, for me and perhaps for you, to step up and face the challenges we like to ignore. I think we both might be a little happier if we did.
11
Aug
Love, What’s Gender Got to Do with It?
by Sophia Hsu
0 Comments | Posted by thatgirl in 21st Century Bellist, Amuse Me
Whether you believe homosexuality is biologically hardwired or a matter of choice, the fact remains that our society has been living in a hetero-homo binary. You’re either gay or straight – maybe bi – and that’s it. These three categories have been considered to be mutually exclusive and sexual identity to be as simple as checking the applicable box. But as many will tell you, it’s not that easy.
For women, maybe love really is blind when it comes to gender. Within the past few years, a new understanding of female sexuality has emerged. Studying the growing number of women leaving men for other women, researchers have coined the term “sexual fluidity” to explain the collapsing boundaries of sexual orientation. 
Cynthia Nixon, star of Sex and the City, became one of the most high-profile cases of sexual fluidity when she began seeing a woman after ending a 15-year relationship with a man. She told the Daily Mirror, “I have been with men all my life and had never met a woman I had fallen in love with before. But when I did, it didn’t seem so strange. It didn’t change who I am. I’m just a woman who fell in love with a woman.”
Lisa Diamond, associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, is accredited for bringing this controversial subject to the academic table. Her 2008 book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire explores the changing nature of female sexuality, citing scientific research and her own studies of nearly 100 women who have experienced same-sex attraction.
“People always ask me if this research means everyone is bisexual. No, it doesn’t,” Diamond tells O, The Oprah Magazine. “Fluidity represents a capacity to respond erotically in unexpected ways due to particular situations or relationships. It doesn’t appear to be something [anyone] can control.”
And as research suggests, this fluidity is more common in women than men. In a ground-breaking 2004 study at Northwestern University, both gay and straight female subjects became sexually aroused at heterosexual and lesbian erotic films. Male subjects, on the other hand, responded only toward films aimed at their sexual orientation. Since past research has been conducted mostly on men, this report opened the field on female sexuality and has encouraged further studies that have since supported women’s greater capacity for sexual vacillation.
But sexuality isn’t limited to the physiological phenomenon of blood rushing to genitals. Emotions play a huge part in who we find attractive, and Diamond has discovered that sexual fluidity stems from “being attracted to the person, not the gender.”
In an interview with the Boston Globe, Diamond quotes one woman who revealed that “deep down, it’s just a matter of who I meet and fall in love with, and it’s not their body, it’s something