Growing up, I loved ‘N Sync (sorry Backstreet Boys’ fans). My favorite was Justin Timberlake with his blonde, Brillo-pad hair. My daydream involved him singing me a rendition of “Want You Back” and running away with him, but I secretly knew it probably wouldn’t happen. I see parallels today with Zac Efron, the Twilight gang, and the Jonas Brothers.

<small><small>Image courtesy of Hollywoodgrind.com</small></small>

Image courtesy of Hollywoodgrind.com

I viewed a video on YouTube recently, however, that shook my idea of supposedly innocent celeb crushes. In the video, a 3-year-old girl named Cody cries hysterically for nearly five minutes over her love for another Justin, 16-year-old pop star Justin Bieber. The video ends on a funny note when the phone rings, and she runs off, believing Justin is calling her. The video now has nearly three million views.

Could we take this video as a possible sign about how far our celebrity obsessions have gone since my boy band childhood?

According to an article in Psychology Today, we are hardwired to reach out to celebrities and actually connect with them as people. So, we sympathize with Carrie’s dating woes on Sex and the City, gossip about Tiger Woods’ extramarital affairs, and root for Team Jacob or Team Edward.

By now, I’m sure we’ve all heard about the negative effects the media can have on body image, especially for young girls. Images of frighteningly thin and airbrushed models distort ideas about what defines beauty. We hear about eating disorders and plastic surgery that are female tactics to achieve this “beauty.”

What about Cody and Justin Bieber though? He doesn’t seem to be harming her body image, but could he possibly affect how she handles relationships in the future?

Two British researchers, David C. Giles and John Maltby, have studied the effects of celebrity obsession in adolescents. They divide teenagers into two categories; one group who follows celebrities merely for entertainment and another group that builds intense feelings for celebs. These feelings can often be detrimental. From their study of 191 preteens and teens in the United Kingdom, Giles and Maltby estimate about 1 in every 10 adolescents falls into the second category. They connect these unhealthy obsessions with relationships, especially romantic ones. If a character a teen is fixated upon looks like Jake Gyllenhaal or Megan Fox, the teen may search for a partner who resembles them. But, the effects can be far more dangerous. If a fantasy character has an abusive streak, an adolescent may take this as normal behavior in a relationship and even seek it out.

While I don’t think we need to rid ourselves of the Justin Biebers or Edward Cullens of the world, I do believe in the importance of guiding teens into developing healthy relationships with others. We should not just focus on celebrity couples but focus on everyday couples who have nurturing, strong connections with one another. Real-life love is way better than the made-up stuff.


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<small><small>Image courtesy of Terlaba</small></small>

Image courtesy of Terlaba

I’ve always been mystified by tattoos. The permanence, the colors, the designs, the needles, and especially the back-stories have captured my attention for years. It’s the willingness of people to make a permanent impact on their own bodies for such amazing and powerful causes that really moves me. It’s a process that has changed my views on beauty, expression, self-discovery and healing. Tattoos, although often considered taboo, have the potential to bring peace and happiness in ways no other act can. To me, that’s pretty cool.

Now on the opposite side of the spectrum, I’ve had friends who have gone out and inked themselves up simply to celebrate being young and rebellious. Forgive me if I offend, but so many of my friends tattooed themselves (last names on backs for the guys and random stars on feet for girls) that I almost lost it. Is there a point to randomly branding yourself with a collection of meaningless stars or your own name? Regardless of personal preference and what is considered “cool,” I want to highlight some truly amazing works of art I’ve come across recently.

For starters, I met a mom the other day who tattooed a tree on her back. It was her 50th birthday gift to herself representing 20 years of sobriety and growth. The woman had fought through alcoholism, a nasty divorce and raised three boys on her own. She said the tree was a constant reminder of her ability to keep growing. Poetic right?

Another girl uses her body as a sort of list of her accomplishments. Each time she overcomes a struggle or achieves an important goal, she gets a tattoo. Some of her tattoos represent participating in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure walk, graduating college and starting her own business. Now this process of achieving and inking isn’t exactly my style, but for her, it’s a perfect fit.

Finally I’ve met several girls in my time who get tattoos for more therapeutic reasons. The list could go on and on for those who have remembered deceased loved ones with tattoos and I’ll admit it’s something I’ve even considered myself. My friend Sara whose mother died from cancer (similar to mine) has the most beautiful tattoo of purple angel wings on her right thigh. When I asked her about them, she looked at me with a cheesy smile and said, “Purple was her favorite color, and now she’s always at my side.”

Whatever the reason people choose to get tattoos (as long as there is a reason), I think the potential exists for them to be an incredibly healing and nurturing experience. The absolute permanent marking of a symbol or message onto a person’s body can only mean that the choice to do so is an incredible story. Maybe the next time you encounter someone with some interesting tattoos, ask the obvious question. Why? The answers could really leave quite an impression.


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March is officially here, and that means it’s Women’s History Month. (Although I have also seen it referred to as Gender Equality Month, we’re going to keep it for the ladies!) In July 1848, a social visit brought together Lucretia Mott, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Martha C. Wright, Mary Ann McClintock and Jane Hunt to Seneca Falls, New York. This communal meeting later known as the first Women’s Rights Convention is generally considered the beginning of the Women’s Rights Movement in the United States. Every year in March, Women’s History Month is honored with activities and celebrations that continue to educate and inspire men and women, young and old.

This year marks the 30th anniversary of the National Women’s History Project (NWHP), a very successful organization committed to honoring and preserving women in history. Founded in Santa Rosa, California in 1980, each year the NWHP coordinates a venture to systematically reinforce the strength of women everywhere. This year’s theme revolves around “Writing Women Back into History.” The hope is that finally women who really matter and make a difference will be showcased in the history books.

<small><small>Image courtesy of Womensconference.org</small></small>

Image courtesy of Womensconference.org

The NWHP hopes to increase female participation in history-making endeavors while at the same time celebrating the women who paved the roads ahead. Already in full force this month, the Smithsonian in Washington set up galleries and tours promoting women’s efforts. Family-friendly activities including scavenger hunts as well as arts and crafts are available at the museum throughout the month. On March 14, Baton Rouge is holding the 12th Annual Women’s Poetry Reading at the Baton Rouge Gallery. A broad scope of Louisiana performers will participate, from published poets to first-time readers. First Lady of California, Maria Shriver, took part in the Women’s Committee at Long Beach, which under Shriver’s guidance has become arguably one of the largest and most influential gathering of female innovators, writers, designers and opinion leaders in the world.

Making me even more proud to be a woman this month, especially one of color, is the fact that March 8 specifically signified International Women’s Day. Each year, thousands of globally rich and diverse local activities ranging from political rallies, business meetings, government and social networking events to women’s craft markets, theatrical performances, fashion shows and more are held across the globe to inspire women and celebrate their achievements. Google even joined in by changing its logo for the special holiday!

These are the types of phenomenon that are newsworthy. We don’t need to know that Lindsey likes her prescription pills or that time Britney shaved her head. Make room for the real catalysts of yesteryear.

The women of Seneca Falls would be very proud, but the battle’s only half won. It’s no longer about promoting HIStory or HERstory, it’s about recognizing that it’s OUR story.


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<small><small>Kayla Stott and her son, Lucas</small></small>

Kayla Stott and her son, Lucas

Denial.” That was the first response Kayla Stott felt when she found out she was pregnant at 16 years old. While most teens were concerned about studying for exams, preparing to get a driver’s license, and discussing the latest gossip, Stott was buying diapers and commencing her biggest life change to date. Nine months later, on the eve before giving birth in March 2008, she sat gazing down at her enlarged belly and imagined how a baby would transform her life. Now, nearing her son’s second birthday, Stott is a “strong believer that everything happens for a reason” and has drawn incredible strength and positivity from his birth.

Not only has Stott been able to have her son, Lucas, and graduate from high school on-time with her classmates, but she has also faced tremendous adversity and judgment. “I may be a young mom, but I’m a good mom,” she states. “Age does not always determine maturity.” Stott is actively pursuing her return to college this year to continue her education and reach her personal ambitions.

A strong advocate against unprotected sex, Stott encourages teens to consider the responsibility that comes with the action. Yet, for those young mothers out there that feel alone, she offers words of advice.

“It takes a lot of strength to be a mom and you need to feel confident in what you are doing,” Stott explains. “It’s a journey that has many ups and downs, and it is a road that the majority of young girls don’t have to take. Yet there are many of us out there and I know from all the teen mothers I’ve met that we are willing to stand by each other and help out in any way, shape or form.” Stott believes that a strong family support system is important, but there are networks of “mom-and-tot” groups that can be equally supportive and informative.

The best part of being a mother for Stott has been the unconditional love Lucas has taught her. “It is so rewarding to see him learn the things I am teaching him and to watch him grow and change into an amazing little man!” He has provided Stott with a more positive outlook on life than she could have anticipated. She lives by the motto: “If you get a chance take it. If it changes your life let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.”

As Stott approaches her twentieth birthday, I salute her for raising a beautiful son and continuing to persevere through trial and tribulation. It’s time to abolish the stereotypes of teen mothers and support a healthy upbringing for our next generation, rather than condemning life choices. We all have weaknesses and make mistakes, but what could be deemed a mistake by some can prove to be the miracle that provides confidence to overcome whatever life throws at us.


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After months of preparation, items neatly packed and travel medication on standby, I was eager and ready to embark on my month-long journey to Kenya to volunteer in a rural Maasai village. Growing up with a fervent passion for travel and the incessant desire to volunteer, I combined my two ambitions and set out to be a conduit of change. What I didn’t anticipate however, was how making a difference in the lives of others would enhance my own.

Through International Volunteer Headquarters, I found an organization offering a diverse variety of locations and programs ranging from Costa Rica’s Turtle Conservation to female empowerment in India. The organization’s founder, Daniel Radcliffe (not the Harry Potter actor), offers an affordable, flexible, and inclusive volunteer network. Its focus is to encourage heightening awareness of culture and international issues while allowing the freedom to travel and integrate living with the indigenous people of the regions.

Stepping off the plane in Nairobi, the earthy aroma of ochre dust permeated my sense of smell. The endless hustle of East Africa’s most populated city was immediately apparent. Although the faces were unlike what I was accustomed to back home in Ottawa, Canada, the world suddenly felt smaller as I witnessed their welcoming smiles. Traversing past the Great Rift Valley on my way to my host family in Kajiado, the vast African skies transcended rays of crisp golden light on the Flat-top Acacia trees.

newKenyalollipopsMy host family welcomed me and another volunteer from Norway to their homestead with open arms, even giving us Maasai tribe names. Nanyorri was mine which translates to “loved by many.” Living without electricity, running water, and basic luxuries gave me a great deal of perspective. I trekked to and from Esokota Primary School daily and taught english and science to Maasai children. There are very limited resources on hand, so I brought with me simple items such as pens, toys and stickers. The children of Kenya love to study and crave an education. We spent free time playing soccer (“football”) or holding their hands as they touched my skin while whispering, “smooth.” I became inspired by a young girl named Lydia who has the eyes and soul of an elder but retained the innocence of a child. Her effervescent smile is my source of motivation whenever I get down.

I live my life with the aspiration of “waking up” to the realms of limitless possibilities that are at our fingertips if we allow ourselves to experience them. I can now say that “I am awake” and want to continue to weaken the negative disparity that separates knowledge from perception by promoting positive initiatives within the African continent. Through volunteering, I have discovered a part of myself that was lying dormant. I still remember how my students sang to me on my last day of class, “For our friends, who are going, we wish you a happy stay. We wish you a merry life, in your future.”


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Live your passion. Chase your dreams. Follow your heart.

These are things that have often been expressed during the 21st Century before the recession hit. Now the common expressions range from musings about saving money, making better investments with time and gaining solid work experience. Chasing dreams and passions seemed a lot easier before unemployment and a low economy became household conversations.

<small><small>Image courtesy of pioter</small></small>

Image courtesy of pioter

The steady decline of the economy has lead to droves of people being laid off and out of work causing dramatic increases in the unemployment rate. Google Public Data recently reported unemployment grew from 9.7 % to 10.6 % only in the last few months the highest it’s been in the past two decades. Even though skyrocketing unemployment rates have been a devastating blow for the United States, the amount of resilience found in those down-and-out is surprising, especially when it comes to women.

The New York Times stated in a recent article that the recession has been great for women as 78 % of the people who lost their jobs in the recession are men. Women have stepped up to the plate, headed into the work force and are approaching things with a new outlook.

While in the career flux, women are working hard to gain vital work experience and keep their heads above water. They are helping provide for their families, changing the face of industry and still finding time to give back to the community. There also has been an increase in volunteerism over the past two years as people are donating their expertise for philanthropic causes.

Focus in the work force has gone from an obsession with being the biggest in the business to a realization of becoming the best you can be in your respective field. This is an idea that Anslee Connell, a clothing designer and freelance photographer based out of Austin, has taken on in pursuit of her various careers.

As a freelancer and designer, Connell says she’s learning how to run a business. “There’s so much involved which I am still learning about,” says Connell. “I’ve been reading a lot of books, taking some informal classes, and using my friends and random strangers for references.”

But Connell doesn’t stop there. “I’ve also learned how to ride a bike, partially to one day save gas money,” she explains. “I’m giving another shot at learning Spanish through the trusty Rosetta Stone to see if that will help me land a higher-paying job.”

Connell is also trying a multitude of different things including singing in a blues/jazz band and tackling stand-up comedy. Her optimistic and inspiring attitude is reminding others that it can’t hurt to try.

Between clipping coupons and taking on a few more projects than normal, the recession is teaching women to be better stewards of time and money. It’s encouraging that even in this time of cutting back, cutting back dreams and passions doesn’t necessarily have to be part of the picture.

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Welcome back, ladies!

Recent times have been very exciting here, with work and life galloping along at an insane speed. It’s taken this long for me to have half a chance to sit down and write. Since the birth of the New Year, I have been incredibly busy working on a number of projects, and trying to somehow fit in a social life, too. Balancing life and work is a constant battle, but recent times have given me cause to briefly pause and take stock of my lot.

A dear friend of mine is currently supporting her friend through the latter stages of cancer. She’s been so incredibly strong and positive but you can tell it’s hitting her hard. It’s so hard to support someone through such times, what can one possibly say to ease the pain? Mortality is such a fragile concept, something that many of us are lucky enough not to have to consider in any depth for the majority of our lives. With this in mind, I have spent some time considering my own life, my plans, goals and, most importantly, my luck.

I think it is too easy to stomp through life, achieving what you can, without taking a moment to consider just how lucky we are. Bellism, and all that it stands for, promotes self-reflection, and it is such a powerful tool for change, personally, locally and, hopefully, globally. We have a real opportunity to be part of a generation of women that can genuinely change the world if only we accept the gauntlet.

<small><small>Image courtesy of Brightonscience.com</small></small>

Image courtesy of Brightonscience.com

I have been busy with my work as publicity manager at the Brighton Science Festival something I would never have expected myself to do, but I am happy to say I have enjoyed every minute of it. As I write, the festival is in full swing. We are halfway through a two-week schedule packed with individual events, and as an integral part of a team of three (plus some sterling volunteers), it’s imperative that you balance functionality with professionalism. At recent events I have opted for classic skinny jeans (a staple) and black long-sleeved tees, or a blazer jacket and jeans. Comfort really is paramount when rushing about with a walkie-talkie on your belt, but I find that a well-placed oversized corsage on your lapel or a statement necklace allows you to stand out from the crowd while still allowing you to perform your job effectively.

Returning to the heart of iatg, I have had some fantastic meetings with the gals across the pond of late, and am very excited about the prospect of really promoting Bellism in the UK. Sometimes it may feel as though we are a world away from each other, but Bellism allows for continuity of being and a conglomerate of ideas that can really make a difference.

Stay beauty-full, ladies! And don’t forget to add your comments because a dialogue is only a few small steps away from a revolution!

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22
Feb

Get Your Juice On

<small><small>Image courtesy of Lominore</small></small>

Image courtesy of Lominore

We are all aware that we should aim to consume at least five servings of fruits and vegetables each day for optimum health. That’s not such an easy task though given busy schedules, stress and temptations not to mention a preference for alcoholic cocktails over healthy juice. Instead of popping vitamin tablets as the easy, quick-fix answer, how about juicing your own fruits and vegetables? The idea of drinking a broccoli/beet juice probably doesn’t appeal to your taste buds as much as say, a store-bought apple juice, but nutritionally wise you could be consuming all five servings in one homemade juice. You’ll also be cleansing your body of impurities and incredibly, losing weight. This simple process provides your body with valuable fuel, and if indulged in first thing in the morning, will help you start the day feeling noticeably energized (and even full).

There are many obvious advantages to juicing, aside from the fact that fruits and vegetables are among the cheapest foods to put in your shopping cart. In terms of their nutritional value, the antioxidants found in these foods are essential for younger, healthier-looking skin. By juicing several fruits and vegetables into one concoction you can dramatically increase the vitamin and folic acid content, than if you ate just one apple. Many people tend to eat the same vegetable and salads everyday, however with juicing, you can juice a variety of vegetables that you may not normally enjoy eating whole. Basic ingredients such as spinach, beet, carrots, apples and pears can form to make a delicious and healthy juice. To spice it up you could add ginger, lemon, herbs such as mint or even chili. Basically you can juice almost any food (with the exception of bananas and avocados) and you will receive nutritional benefits from all of them. For example, apples are an anti-cancer health promoter, blueberries destroy free radicals, beets cleanse the liver and cucumber is an excellent diuretic (a fantastic de-bloating tip), while ginger is a natural antibiotic.

With regards to weight loss, juicing is an incredibly effective and easy choice. Most of the liquids found in fruit is actually water (another diuretic), while the majority of fruits and vegetables are extremely low in fat, calories, sugar and cholesterol. And if a juice is consumed at breakfast it will keep you satisfied due to the fibrous content and mixture of the fruits and vegetables.

Just give it a try. Invest in a juicer (purchase a good quality one like Breville, one of the most favored), and invest in your health!

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<small><small>Image courtesy of Macy's</small></small>

Image courtesy of Macy's

One basket at a time, Rwandan women are weaving their brutalized country back together. As citizens of one of the most devastated countries in the world, these women refuse to let the anger and bitterness from their land’s history affect its future. Rather, through self-sufficiency, hope and basket-weaving, they are leading their nation’s rebirth.

Between April and July of 1994, a swift and incomprehensible genocide swept through Rwanda over the course of 100 days. An estimated 800,000 Tutsi Rwandans and sympathizers were systematically slaughtered by their Hutu neighbors and militia with support from government and political leaders. While men were massacred, women and children were raped and mutilated. The terror left a population of only 30 % men and nearly 70 % women.

Coping with one of the gravest human atrocities in modern history is a considerable feat for any nation, let alone one with as tumultuous a past as Rwanda. But the country’s recovery has been remarkable and is now viewed as a model for other developing countries. In fact, a CNN foreign affairs analyst has even dubbed Rwanda as Africa’s “biggest success story.” And the country can thank its women for its present stability, economic growth, and rising education levels.

“I [saw] an opportunity to empower the women of Rwanda,” said Willa Shalit, reflecting on a 2003 trip where she first discovered the Rwandan women’s unique talent. By partnering with Macy’s and Gahaya Links, Shalit’s company Fairwinds Trading markets exquisitely handwoven baskets to American consumers for the Rwanda Path to Peace project. Proceeds are given to the artisan women who then invest their new-found income in their families.

“What I earn helps me take myself out of poverty,” attests weaver Justine in an interview with CBS. “Today I can buy a dress, I can feed my children.”

Moreover, these baskets benefit the nation as a whole as the project’s impact extends beyond individual family units. Through income made by weavers, entire villages can afford clean water and mosquito netting to combat deadly diseases. HIV-positive weavers can also better meet their medical needs with more access to healthcare and medication.

But the greatest impact is perhaps the least tangible. Another weaver, Dorcille Uwimana, reflects on the influence she and her fellow weavers have had on their homeland. “We have taught the country to move beyond hatred. We realized we cannot always be angry at each other. We have to weave. We have to make our lives better.”

For a country that has been torn asunder by inhumane man-on-man violence, reconciliation has been accomplished through women. And it is women who are the breadwinners, the catalysts, and the leaders.

The Rwandan widow-weavers prove what has been an increasing realization – that channeling aid to women and girls is the best way to combat global poverty and extremism. As New York Times reporters Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn write, “women and girls aren’t the problem; they’re the solution.”

Baskets are available for purchase from Macys.com.

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helene

I have a life coach now. If you’d asked me what that meant a year ago, I would have responded with some vague answer, with roughly the same insight that I have on synchronized swimming (which is very little). I know in theory that girls swim around and make shapes with their bodies, similarly I knew life coaches help you “figure things out,” but that was the extent of my knowledge. Then as a very generous gift, a dear friend bought me two sessions with THE Helene Finizio. Now I had heard of this woman (the best in the biz) and I’d dreamed of one day getting to work with the Queen of New York, but could never have fathomed to what extent she’d change my life.

So that’s how it all started. I received a gift, a stranger’s voice on the other end of my phone gently inquiring about all the nooks, the crannies, peering into the deepest darkest closets of my life. And then before I knew it, that voice was no longer a distant stranger, but a life’s guide, a dear friend, a confidant, a sage and a cheerleader.

Here’s the deal. I’ve spent more money on jeans, shoes and movies than I would ever like to admit. I don’t mind dropping big Bens on a personal trainer, expensive mascara, and the new Victoria Secret, must-have bra. My bank account diminishes at the mere thought of international airfare and tickets to see my favorite band play. Why then does it pain us to spend money on the things that actually matter?

You see, a life coach is just about the best buck you could possibly spend because (at least for me) I’m being taught how to live better. It’s not quick fixes, plaster over the cracks, but looking into my lifelong habits of loving bad boys, highlights of unnecessary self-critique, techniques on how to better handle stress, and the subtleties in thoughts that are getting you exactly what you don’t want. We’re not talking voodoo, mad scientist fluff, we’re talking about facing every facet of who you are intimately in a mirror and being forced to reckon with what most of us would rather sweep under the rug.

And the beauty is it’s not a therapy session, woe is me, kumbaya-ing. It’s practical steps to getting what you want, shifting your paradigm so that anything is possible and mantras that actually change the way you think. We have coaches for sports, tutors for school, mentors for business, so why are we not encouraged to have a coach for life in general  ̶  a coach for how to be a better version of ourselves?

The reason I’m gushing over this is because it’s a phenomenon, something I had vaguely heard of and I feel like it’s a secret most of us don’t know about. In fact, I started inquiring to all my most successful friends about it and sure enough, nine out of 10 had a life coach. Where was I when that memo went out? So here’s the deal, Helene has changed my life, continues to, by inspiring me, encouraging me, unapologetically challenging me and enabling me to do what I’m meant to do in this lifetime without getting caught up in my own bull$&#@ that serves as a serious distraction, temptation and/or a slower-downer.

helene 2

She doesn’t remove the obstacles for me, but shows me the same invisible walls I keep running into to and leads me to the door. She helps me clarify what I really want in life instead of falling victim to society’s pressures, or other people’s influence. She recognizes patterns in my language that are limiting beliefs, and pinpoints my revisionist history of things that never really happened “like that.” She dances in a world of endless possibility and encourages me to dance alongside her. She doesn’t subscribe to what the world says and instead writes her own life menu and chooses exactly what she wants to order.

Helene is a miracle worker. She makes dreams come true, by helping you realize what yours even are in the first place. Whether it’s a major career-changing decision (which she recently walked me through), my latest 8th grade crush, my personal struggles with body image or my financial goals, she helps guide me in the right direction. She is a flashlight along a dark road and a voice of reason when the world gets so chaotic and the endless possibilities leave me in a state of paralysis.

Life is tough — at least it can be. But as I’m learning, it also doesn’t have to be. The greatest thing I have been taught is that either way, we choose how our life will unfold, the adventures we go on and the attitude we adorn.  I feel like when you find something that significantly and positively changes your life, it’s a travesty to keep it a secret. Helene is a pretty penny, but why wouldn’t she be? She’s in the business of changing lives. I get asked all the time what my secret is… well cats out… it’s her.

www.HeleneFinizio.com

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