I'm a tomboy. I can pretend to be girly, paint my nails, do my hair and throw on a sweet summer dress but after being raised with four older brothers, which is like being raised with wolves, you'll inevitably howl at the moon. I know this because I went running at the gym on a treadmill sandwiched between beef cake number one and beef cake number two and halfway through my run I realized that my individual TV was set on ESPN highlights from March Madness and the guys were transfixed by Dancing with the Stars.
I remember having a friend tell me that my "problem" with guys was that I was too much of a tomboy, too competitive and rather than talk sport stats I should talk about sweet, nice things. She went on to say that I'm too intimidating with my opinions and ambition can be threatening. Being that I'm a great student, I took to heart her selfless advice. That night we went out and I was polite, nodded a lot and smiled sweetly. I talked about unimportant things that I wasn't particularly passionate about as not to get too opinionated. I was aloof, deferential and quiet. More than anything, I was BORING. A poster board cut-out would have been more interesting and that's when it occurred to me that no one, no guy, no job, no friend or boss is worth changing who you are for.
I love burgers, I have an affinity for college football, and camping with the bare essentials. I'm loud, opinionated, deeply passionate about what I do and typically unapologetic about all three. I rarely wear makeup, will take jeans and a T-shirt over almost anything, think Cinderella weddings have lost the whole point of actually getting married and I look forward to the BCS championship football game more than I do Christmas morning.
And none of that is going to change anytime soon, so to pretend I’m anything other than a football-loving, Texas tomboy would be inauthentic. The right guy will appreciate the nuances that make me, me. And the same will be true for you as well. Stay true to yourself, be proud of what makes you unique and trust that the right guy won’t be intimidated by your ambition, shudder at your obsession with sports, or wish you were a little more princess and a little less She-Ra.
I think as women, too often we’re taught to be people pleasers and to strive to be everything for everyone. My advice is to be everything for you. If you spend your whole life trying to be like everyone else, you’ll never get around to being you.Images courtesy of Westlakepicayune.com, Dailyaxe.com