Are Others Holding You Back?

By Alexis Meads, Guest Blogger

I had a great conversation the other week with one of my clients and asked her what brings joy to her life. What really makes her light up and feel awesome? I asked this because one of her goals was to feel happier on a more consistent basis.
She told me that something she really loves is to get dressed up and feel attractive. But that she stopped getting dressed up because whenever she does, the other people in her office make jokes to bring her down.
Things like, “Wow, you’ve really gotten fancy today!” or “Oh, I didn’t know we were getting all dressed up! I didn’t get the memo.”

Maybe someone has made jokes like that to you before, or you’ve made them yourself. The result was that my client felt bad, she stopped dressing up (something that gives her joy) and well, nothing in the office changes.
I recently went to a Tony Robbins seminar and he explained that one of the six human driving needs is the need for significance. Now, there are two ways to feel more significant. 

The first is a little harder. And that is to do the work. To follow your dreams. Contribute to your community. Put effort into your relationships. Do a better job at work. Lose the weight. Live your core values. The list is endless, and it’s specific to you. 


The second is the fastest and easiest way to feel more significant, and that is to tear somebody else down. It can be in a big, mean-spirited way, but more often than not it’s through those jokes that aren’t ‘meant’ to be jokes at all, or said behind someone’s back. We’ve all been sucked down this road before, because in a way, it does temporarily make us feel better about ourselves.
But there is a far better way to feel good about yourself. This is the road less taken. It’s windier, steeper and sometimes a little lonely. It is the true path to self-love and fulfillment. And that is by finding and living out our joy, no matter what anyone else says.
As Marianne Williamson famously quotes, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
It requires much more of you. But there is promise in this road, too. Oh yes, my fellow seekers. There is so much out there waiting for you when you align with your values and purpose.
Imagine a world where we are free to be our most beautiful, radiant selves. Where we are not torn down and feel no need to tear others down. Where we embody self-love and can celebrate our successes, our wins, our bodies, our joy. Where we can feel alive, grateful and filled with energy. Where we are magnets who attract loving, soulful people into our world. Where we know that the Universe always has our back.
A lofty vision, I know. But I won’t stop believing in you and you’re not alone. I’m on the road alongside you, taking one treacherous step at a time.
Let's Chat! What is something that brings you joy? Have you ever let others stop you from being your true self? What are you going to do about it? Share with us here!
About Alexis
ALEXIS_MEADS.jpgAlexis Meads received her M.A. at Harvard University. She is a Certified Wellness Coach and Self-Love Expert. She helps women to fall madly in love, feel sexy and confident every day, and create a life full of adventure. For more articles, visit or get your FREE Digital Book from Alexis here:




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