By Lauren Rodriguez, Guest Blogger September 13, 2015
I was that girl in high school who everyone, myself included, just knew would be married first. This fact made me very happy, even though I was much too young to truly understand what being married even really met. I thought I’d have a hubby, two kids, and two Oscars all by 30. I’m now 31, single, and Oscar-less.
Just a single lady here!! For the past decade, I’ve been standing by, watching what feels like everyone get married. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting a bit. I’m not jealous; don’t get me wrong– I’m happy for folks finding their life partners. It just bums me out that it hasn’t happened for me yet. I feel silly for feeling sad about it too, because I’m a strong woman, and I feel like independent women don’t get upset over being single.
We do though, and it’s fine! It’s natural to feel a little left out when you’re watching everyone else board the train to Married Town and you’re standing on the platform alone, waving from Single City. It’s OK to be sad about not getting the things we want, especially the big things, like a career, marriage, or a husky.
I really love huskies.
After completing what felt like my 200th stint as a bridesmaid, I really started to think about why it upsets me so much, not being married. Where did this pressure I feel even come from?
image via easyweddings.com.au
Think about it– from a very young age, we’re surrounded by stories of love and marriage. The Disney princesses always fell in love, got married, and lived happily ever after. So, early on, we’re already equating love and marriage with happiness. Even today, romantic movies, TV shows, and novels surround us. The media, society, culture, religious beliefs, and history in general are all having an effect on how we view marriage, and what role it plays in our lives.
I grew up in the South, and I feel like you feel the pressure to marry even more down there. It’s an unspoken rule that you’ll get educated, then married, buy a house, and have kiddos. Marriage is like this invisible finish line that we all know is there, and we feel like if we don’t cross it by the time we are 25, we are failures. I’m now that older unwed sister that just hasn’t settled down yet. I can’t tell you how many times I get asked, “When’s it your turn, Lauren?”
Hey, if you’re feeling down because you’re not married, or nowhere close to it, just remember that it’s natural and you aren’t the only one. There are plenty of us standing on the platform.
Focus on your happiness within yourself and your own life.
I’ve realized that for me, it’s more about the committed relationship that I feel I’m missing out on rather than marriage. I mean, I do still want to get married, but now I know that I want it because I understand what it means to share my life with someone. I want it because I’m ready for it, and I know now that if I had gotten married at 20 or even 25, I wouldn’t have been ready– and that’s why I’m not!
It’s important to pay attention to how your environment is influencing you. Make sure you want marriage because YOU want it, not because every single one of your friends is married. Remember, the married peeps aren’t necessarily living a happier or better life than you; they’re just living life with someone, which doesn’t negate how awesome your life is even though you’re flying solo!
Focus on your happiness within yourself and your own life, that way, when the person who you want to share it with comes along, you’ll be ready. Keep your chin up, your heart open, and you’ll end up just where you need to be.
What are your favorite parts about being single? Tell us below!
Lauren loves soaking up new people and new experiences. She's an artist, a photographer, an actress, and a dreamer. She usually writes in run-on sentences because she lives a run-on life. She tends to be dramatic, impulsive, and she eats more Mexican food than any one person probably should! Read more by Lauren at her blog http://www.loloonthegogo.weebly.com
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