Alone or Just Lonely?

By: Abbey Clark, Guest Blogger

The ironic thing about feeling lonely is that you’re never alone. Even if you are the happiest person in the world, loneliness is inevitable, and everyone feels it from time to time. Sometimes it’s heartache, sometimes it’s heartbreak, and sometimes it’s a random surge.

In contrast with my independent nature, I avoid the feeling of loneliness like the plague.  I’m a naturally outgoing person, and I am blessed to have many friends in my life. One of my favorite things to do is meet new, interesting people. This being said, I always need my alone time to recharge and reboot.  

I look forward to my alone time. What most people don’t realize is that feeling lonely and being alone are two different things. Times where I was homesick, working through a break up, or feeling blue, I tried to fill this void as soon as possible by going out with friends and being constantly surrounded by people. By ignoring my own needs and trying to mask my feelings, I wasn’t listening to anyone, including myself. This attention seeking behavior did the job for the night, but the feeling never completely went away and these feelings only built up (interfering with my sacred alone time.)


Of course everyone deals with their emotions in different ways, but through some introspective thinking (and some trial and error) I’ve found that the only true cure to the loneliness I experience is from within: by examining the root cause of why I’m feeling lonely and then making healthy choices to combat it. Ask yourself what makes you tick, and what fills you with joy? What are your vices, and what are healthy, happy void fillers? Asking yourself these important questions is your game plan to beating loneliness– and you’re the only player on the team; you’re the MVP.

Feeling alone is different than being alone. Even though it’s scary, feeling alone when you are alone allows you to learn a lot about yourself. When the fog of loneliness clears (and it will,) you’ll be able to gain a little perspective. Loneliness is temporary, but the knowledge you learn about yourself when you allow yourself to truly feel, is perhaps the most valuable knowledge of all.

Let's Chat!

Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between loneliness and the choice to be alone. Give yourself a gut check as Abbey suggests and reach out to a friend or someone you trust and talk about what you find out. How can you take steps to remedy your loneliness or what can you do to make sure you're getting the alone time you need?

About Abbey

abbey_clark.jpgAbbey recently graduated from Boston College where she received bachelors degrees in both English and Human Development. She is a certified yoga instructor, and a strong believer in the daily morning cup of coffee. She is obsessed with all things marketing and social, and has loved creative writing as long as she can remember. She loves shoes, vegan baking, traveling, and trying new things. She is an advocate of healthy living, real beauty, and is so proud to be part of such a beautiful organization that is changing the world for women and girls!





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