By Regular Contributor, Olivia Crescenzi
Most of our lives are actually spent solitarily. We are constantly in our own heads, encompassed by our thoughts and opinions, enthralled by the stories that race through our minds. No matter how intro- or extroverted we are, our daily battles and struggles are usually fought and resolved within ourselves. However, as much as most of us like to think we can make it completely on our own, everyone needs a little help sometimes.
I recognize how extremely fortunate I am to have found my best friends at such a young age; women who quickly became my sisters and soulmates, who have been there to witness absolutely everything. Why fortunate? I think choosing and finding the right friends is a very important process that all women need to venture through. However, more often than not, it takes a very long time. The reason for this isn’t because we aren’t good enough to deserve true friends… it’s actually quite the opposite. We all deserve the gift of real friends, friends who willingly navigate our hardest moments with us and for us. More importantly though, a true test of friendship is when someone is there to share the celebration of our best days, not just to by stand the worst.
Friends will come and go forever, that’s just the nature of who we are as humans. Some come into our lives for only a fleeting moment, serving the sole purpose of teaching us a lesson. Others enter and then leave us in shambles when the relationship crumbles, for nothing if not to show us our own strength. True, genuine best friends, however, will always remain. How do you know which of your friends these are? You just do. When you can look at one of your friends and no matter what has happened between you or in your own individual lives while you’ve known each other, everything has remained the same….you know that relationship matters.
Now, if you don’t feel like you’ve found your true friends yet, don’t worry! Your time will most definitely come. However, one thing you need to promise yourself right now is that you won’t rush into a friendship or introduce yourself into a particular social circle for the sole sake of having friends, because I can tell you right now, those ‘friendships’ will not last. The ones that will last will be the ones that aren’t always comfortable, that make you nervous sometimes, that disappoint you, and that you disappoint right back, but, in the end, forgiveness will always rule.
In the words of poet and philosopher David Whyte, “The ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another.” Not many people in this world will see you like your true friends will, nor will you see many like you see them. But one thing’s for sure, when you find your girls, hang onto them as tight as you can and forever be grateful that you are getting to witness the essence of them, because, honestly, that’s the best part.
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I am a twenty-year-old Microbiology & Immunology student at McGill University in Montreal, Canada. On the (more often than not) moments that I’m caught procrastinating my studying, I’m just your regular teenager (yes, still) that values friends, family and dramatic reality TV more than anyone. I would say that I am a collaborator, an empathizer, and pretty middle ground between an idealist and a realist. Most importantly and above all, however, I’m obsessed with our culture as young girls and women, and I want nothing more than to delve deep into this important discussion with you.
image via fashion-clouds.com