By: Lorene Belotti, Guest Blogger
I’m the kind of person who spends a lot of energy with people. I’m always doing my best to really be “here” with people, maybe because of I am hyper-sensitive to others. By being here I mean being TRULY present, not texting or answering the phone while I’m with someone. I want to really listen to what friends or family have to say, and I try to get the maximum information about what they’re telling me in order to understand things and people before allowing myself to give an opinion.
According to a life coach I worked with at work (he’s fought hard to convince me that being so emotional could actually be a blessing), it’s apparently a quality that allows me to bond with people and above all to see and feel what a lot of people do not. This is good on paper but so tiring in reality! Being such an “emotional sponge” (either for good or bad feelings) is exhausting. While talking about this, my coach asked me: “Do you know how to handle this?” I answered: “Yes, I spend time alone.” He smiled and nodded saying, “good girl.”
I’ve never been afraid of spending an entire day at home not seeing anyone. I’ve naturally always kept some “me time” all lifelong. The more I grew up, the more I felt the necessity of taking time for me to shut the world out for a short time, to recharge my batteries.
Now I organize my planning to try to keep at least one day per week for me. It doesn’t always mean I totally disappear from the world. I have two types of “me time:” a day where I stay cool at home, doing all that I never have time to do--sorting out papers, calling friends, or answering emails of good friends I don’t want to “botch” by giving them a small answer when I run out of time. It feels like a day to retake control on my personal life when I feel everything going too fast.
My second type of “me time” is the best one: It’s true time off. I don’t plan to do anything; I don’t give myself the slightest aim. I just laze, walk outside in the nature, do some sport, and do my nails. My only obligation: listening and enjoying myself. It’s a day focused on me. If I surf on the Internet or watch movies, it’s only about thoughtless topics.
During this day, I’m especially careful to keep my time free, to let go my spirit, and allow my mind to DREAM. I relax on a deckchair (which is almost hard sometimes when you’re used to keeping yourself occupied) and I just enjoy being here, in the present, not focused on anything special, not doing anything.
I’ve realized my “me time” is essential. I’ve learned to focus on BEING instead of DOING. This is a safety valve, I reconnect with myself, and I refocus on my deep personality. I think about what I want, desire, hope, fear; I take stock.
“Me time” makes me stronger. Look at people alone waiting for the bus: they’re all checking on their phone, like they are busy, as if spending time unoccupied makes them pure losers. Is it so horrible to spend only few minutes with our thoughts? What are we afraid of?
Today, we’re all running all the time, fulfilling the only free moments we have to check our emails, to go on Facebook, Twitter, and so on. We have to be connected to feel alive and being alone is often associated with loneliness. For me, it’s really the opposite. Me time allows us to know ourselves better and knowing who we are gives us pure strength. When we’re solid and sure of our desires, choices and opinions, we have better self-esteem and we know where we want to go. Believe me, ME TIME is power and if you can appreciate it, you are THAT GIRL.
When you give back to yourself, when you take true time to reconnect, EVERYONE wins!
- When was the last time you cleared your schedule completely and let the day unfold?
- What stops you from taking time for you? What can you do better?
- Next time you're waiting in line at your favorite cafe (or anywhere) leave the phone in your bag. Look around, smile, just be with your thoughts.
Lorene is a French observer and learner of life. She’s been working as a salesperson and a marketing assistant for four years to learn the ropes of the business world. She used to be a sports journalist while doing her Master’s degree and she loves writing and telling stories about great people too much not to go back to her first love soon. She lives in the French Alps, and loves to try to solve the world’s problems while having a great meal with her loved ones. She is passionate about foreign languages, self-development books, American TV shows, and people. Oh, and she’s a total nerd of Academic studies (when she’ll win the lottery, she’ll go to Harvard).