As we step forward into a new year, we can’t help but look back and review another year of cinematic excellence.  From movies that shattered box office records to those headed for Oscar glory, 2008 gifted audiences with a number of remarkable films.  So without further ado, here are my favorites from 2008:

8.  The Reader
7.  Iron Man
6.  Frost/Nixon
5.  The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
4.  Revolutionary Road
3.  Milk
2.  The Dark Knight
1.  Slumdog Millionaire

But don’t just take my word for it, what are your favorite films of 2008?  And be sure to check back next week for my 9 Most-Anticipated Movies of ‘09!

picture by darren hester

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Feel like you’re in a makeup rut? Or just want to learn new ways to amplify your already stunning face? Makeup artists share their favorite techniques to freshen up your makeup routine.

Geraldine from Kitten Vixen: “These are the most common mistakes that all women make.”
1.    Neglecting your skin – Beauty starts with great skin, so treat your skin as an investment. By spending some time every day, cleaning, scrubbing and moisturizing, your skin will be bright and any foundation you put on it will look great.
2.    Not washing makeup brushes – This leads to black heads and all sorts of skin problems. Wash your brushes with warm water and shampoo, rinse thoroughly, and let them dry in a cup over night.
3.    Not using sunscreen – With everything we know about the sun’s harmful effects, there’s no excuse for this. Neutrogena make a great sunscreen that works well under makeup and is available in almost every drug store.
4.    Not throwing out old cosmetics – Once you open a product, bacteria starts to build up. After six months, you have to throw it out.

Angela from Bobbi Brown: “If you’re pressed for time, follow these simple steps to look instantly pulled-together.”
1.    Concealer – For the most natural look, choose yellow-based shades. To lighten dark circles, brush on concealer under the eye, up to the lashline, and on the innermost corner of the eye. Smooth by gently patting with your fingers.
2.    Blush – Smile and dust a natural shade on the apples of your cheeks. Blend up towards the hairline, then downwards to soften color.
3.    Mascara – Hold the wand parallel to the floor and brush from base to tips of your lashes. Roll the wand as you go to separate lashes and avoid clumps.

Keri from MAC: “When you’re on the go, it’s easy to change your look from day to night.”
1.    Use bronzer as cheek color and contour for your face. Apply with an angle brush to add definition to your cheekbones and temples.
2.    Add some pop color eye shadow to your lids. Deep jewel tones work for all skin tones.
3.    Nighttime drama can be achieved quickly be adding black eyeliner to your waterline and mascara to your lashes. Smudge the liner for a sexy smoky effect.
4.    Keep a red lipstick in your makeup bag. It’s the quickest way to create classic or rocker-girl glamour.

Ani from Chanel: “Creating the perfect smoky eye is all about blending.”
1.    Apply concealer to your lids to keep your shadow in place and prevent creasing.
2.    Brush a sparkly white shadow to the inside corners of your eyes. Then, sweep a charcoal gray base over your entire lid. Add some silver over the middle of your lid for some extra shimmer.
3.    Shade black eye shadow into the crease and outside corners.
4.    Smudge black liner onto your upper lash lines and the outer corners of your bottom lash lines. Finish off with a few coats of mascara.
5.    Remember: blend, blend, blend! Blending after every step will keep these shades soft and ensure a seamless transition between colors. Also, try color shadows for a surprising twist.

photo by patrick brosset

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As an occasional glasses wearer, my ears piqued when I heard about a unique event revolving around the sometimes fashionable, sometimes nerdy accessory piece. Hosted by a friend of a friend, the outing came to be because of a run-in two girls had just a week prior at the North End in Hermosa Beach.  Upon entering, both of the girls were mocked by men in the bar and security guards working there for wearing glasses on an evening out. Thus spawned the idea for the social experiment of the “Book Club at a Bar”.

The plan was this: gather a group of people to wear glasses to the same bar that the two girls had been ridiculed at, bring a book, and get into character.

On a normal night I would have leaped at the opportunity to join this activists’ stance, promoting intellectualism and the right to be who you are, glasses or not.  But on this night, I thought it would be much better to provide you with the story, so I simply sat back, observed and took notes.

The group who gathered ended up being a handful of young women…only two of whom carried books.  Each one, wearing glasses (prescription or not), walked into the bar and made their way toward a specific section where they were meeting friends.  That was my first disappointment.  The fact that they had male friends waiting for them meant that there wasn’t going to be an impartial reaction.  Even so, I was shocked to hear some of the things said in discussion.

When their male buddies asked what they were up to, the girls confidently stated that they were part of a “social protest,” and went on to explain the story from the week prior. “Leave that to Tina Fey!”  “That’s Tina Fey’s job!” two guys shouted over one another.  I felt my whole body radiating heat and had to bite my lip to stop myself from engaging in a heated response.

As the night progressed, some guys flirtatiously borrowed glasses from the girls to wear themselves. Others said that a social protest to prove that glasses could be beautiful seemed a bit ridiculous.

A few hours into the night, when I tried to take pictures of the glasses girls, few still adorned their specs.  Some had been placed on tables, lifted up on top of the head, or simply went MIA.  It seemed to be that I had misunderstood the framework of the event (as had a couple of participants who maintained their glasses identity).  Apparently, the group of girls clad in glasses had been a ploy to gain attention in a bar, using them as a prop in their attention seeking performance.

Highly disappointed, I left the bar early, allowing the girls – glasses or not – to continue on with their nights as they would prefer.  But I couldn’t help but wonder what the event said about women’s goals in general –our need for attention, our desire to make a difference, and how these combine.  Is our will so weak that some prodding boys at a bar can make us give up a night that was supposed to be dedicated to redefining beauty, showing everyone that smart can be sexy and geeky can be hot?

Tina Fey may be a high profile glasses success but even she is in the business of mocking her less than perfect look. But perfection isn’t the point; the point is the person. Inevitably there are characteristics of uniqueness which can attract attention from others; wearing glasses in a bar is one of these. Whether or not we succeed with those characteristics that differentiate us has only to do with how we feel about them. Do we mock ourselves and remove our glasses or make a joke in jest without shifting a frame? Are we confident in being an individual or do we attempt to remove or hide our individuality to seem less threatening? The real threat isn’t in how people perceive our personal brand of style or smarts or anything else; it’s in whether or not we perceive our personal brand of style or smarts or anything else as a threat at all.

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This year the album “Santa Baby” by Eartha Kitt finally went gold as it’s singer closed her eyes for the final time on Christmas Day. She died at age 81 in Columbia Presbyterian Hospital battling a remission of colon cancer. Perhaps in her life, Kitt never knew the word “bellism,” but IATG solutes her as an honorary Bellist all the same.

Born in 1927 on a cotton plantation in South Carolina, nobody wanted her. The illegitimate child of a half-black, half-Cherokee mother and a white father, there isn’t even a birth certificate to record her existence. With every obstacle in her way, Kitt should have shriveled into the dust as a nobody. Her mother, however gave her one unlikely gift, and at age eight sent her to live with her aunt in Harlem because her new husband wouldn’t accept a child of mixed race.

It was there in Harlem Kitt realized she was alone in the world and it was up to her to decide how she would live her life. As a teenager, she auditioned for the Katherine Dunham Dance Troupe and landed herself a gig as a featured singer and dancer. By the age of 20, she had gone from bastard child of the south to world traveler and she made a splash at every stop. When she returned her name was already growing in the cabaret scene.

However, it was her role as Catwoman in the 1967 Batman TV series that catapulted her into the collective consciousness. Her sultry purr and regal air became the definitive batman villain bound to be copied but never reproduced the world over.

Bellism, though, isn’t about international success; it’s a state of mind and belief that your voice matters and its your duty to use it even when its inconvenient. While attending a dinner at the White House with President and Lady Bird Johnson, Kitt made no bones about her disgust for the Vietnam War. Speaking freely to the first lady she openly criticized the waste of allowing thousands of America’s best and brightest to be slaughtered in a jungle.

She effectively blacklisted herself from American performances for the next several years and was forced to live abroad where her European fans were as devoted as ever. But being ostracized was old hat to a woman like Kitt and she wouldn’t let it back into her life that easily. She stuck around, managing to score another invitation to the White House and in 2006 stood beside President and First Lady Bush and lit the Christmas tree. I wonder what she had to say to them…

Through nothing but her own sheer determination she has been nominated for three Tony’s, two Grammy’s, and two Emmy’s. A true celebrity, a true star, and a true Bellist, Kitt found ways to embrace a life that had initially rejected her. She will be sorely missed, yet surely remembered every Christmas for generations to come with her unforgettable rendition of “Santa Baby.”

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There are few things in this world that feel as good as having someone fall madly in love with you. Whether it’s the reasonless gifts, huge doe eyes, or the smitten smiles, few things can stroke your confidence feathers as a person enamored by little ol’ you. Obviously, this is only second to when you are so mutually infatuated with them that the world seems to stop . You find yourself totally and utterly unproductive, fully distracted by the mere ding of a text, and hopelessly overwhelmed by romantic daydreams. On the other side of this rainbow filled, My Little Pony Pleasantville is the barren, desert of unreciprocated love.

I had breakfast with my sister-in-law (Sarah), who happens to be one of my dearest friends and often a sounding board for my life’s decisions. During our conversation I was talking about a dear friend of mine who is dating someone she really likes, but not someone she is madly in love with. The difficult situation she has found herself in is that he, on the other hand, is in fact puppy dog, want to get married, in love with her.

She obviously adores him, and has no desire to break up with him, but at the same time, she often times feels guilt ridden and inauthentic when they are expressing the “I love you” pillow talk. She recently asked me my thoughts on the situation and I was reiterating this conversation with Sarah.

My feelings on relationships are that we all have a “heart responsibility” to one another. While it’s natural to not always be on the exact same page, there is an obligation when one person jumps off into the deep end and the other person is not willing to walk the same plank that we need to have a conversation about where we’re at in the relationship. And this is one of the most dreaded, uncomfortable, stomach turning conversations; but it’s also a litmus test for people who’s character outweighs the parameters of “what’s comfortable and easy.”

The fascinating thing is how many times we are presented with a situation where we can do what is right or we can do what is easy. This transcends relationships into life. And there are plenty of people who choose to hold themselves to certain expectations in certain areas of their lives, but it’s hard to know which hat to wear and when it’s appropriate to make a wardrobe change.

One of the insights Sarah had on this conversation, being happy married, is that at least for her, she knew when she met Nate (not necessary that she’d marry him) but that the relationship was worth not “screwing it up long enough to find out.” If we’re honest with ourselves, I think our gut will sound the alarm when it’s the “one,” otherwise it’s the silence we know all too well that says, “next.”

I have no doubt that the scare from my personal, past broken hearts are underlying motivation for this blog, but it’s from that fragile place that I implore of you and others to respect those precious strings by which our hearts dangle. Several times in life will we be able to take advantage of a situation, ignore someone else’s needs to pursue our own; but what if there was one less person who did? What would this world look like if we treated each other better, with an awareness, an honesty and a selflessness?

I think we sometimes forget how precious our hearts are and what an honor it is when someone hands us theirs with the trust we’ll cherish it and protect it. All I’m asking is that we make an effort to take better care of one another and infuse heart responsibility into our character’s repertoire. So to my dear friend who asked my advice, let him go. We all deserve to have someone as madly in love with us as we are with them, and your sweet boy certainly deserves the same.

Birds and Bees Hide

Here it comes.  I can feel it again.  My breath is starting to get stuck in my chest and my finger tips are beginning to tingle.  I can predict what will happen next with eerie precision.  My finger tips will soon go numb.  My chest will feel heavy, as if a fifty pound weight has been placed on top of me.  My thoughts will begin to race and it will be hard to catch my breath.  Right after that, I’ll begin to feel confused and out of place – almost lost.  Then my stomach will ache so badly that it will bring tears to my eyes.  The energy and fear coursing through my body could give me the ability to run clear to Texas on nothing more than adrenaline.  And this would be terrific if I was running from something I needed to get away from.  But I’m not.  I’m in my car.  I’m at a dead stop, sitting in traffic, and I truly believe I’m about to die.

For a long time, I had no idea what was happening to me.  I was scared.  I felt out of control and sick to my stomach while standing in line at a store.  If I got caught in traffic, I would have a white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel and gasp for air.  I spent many mornings curled up on the bathroom floor before work and a look of absolute fear would flash across my face at the mention of going to a movie.  I began to detach from friends and rarely went out.  I was happiest, and safest, sitting in my apartment with the world shut out. I was 24 years old and spent almost every waking moment consumed with obsessive worry and fear.  At a time when I should have been on top of the world, I was trying to hide under the covers.

I had just gotten married and had spent the last two years planning the wedding of my dreams. Only, most of the time I was miserable.  Besides the normal stress a bride is faced with, I had other fears and worries eating at me.  I had to take multiple trips out of state for my gown and the mere thought of a road trip sent me over the edge with terror.  Having commitments always made me feel sick to my stomach because of all the traveling and driving and my appointment book was so jam-packed, I had to stick post-it notes on the pages just to add things.  Taking trips to see vendors made me miserable and agitated.

After the wedding, my mother went into surgery and was facing a long recovery.  On the way to the hospital, I made myself so ill we had to pull the car over so I could get out and I got sick.  People began to take notice and I slowly began to shut out everything that wasn’t immediately important to my survival.  And that’s all I felt like I was doing… surviving.  Then one night everything was turned upside down.  After having successfully isolated myself from everything that scared me (and the list was long!), my husband broke down.  I had been so engulfed in myself, my fears, my worries, my problems… that I had shut my husband out too.  That night I cried.  I cried for our relationship, I cried for the life I was letting pass me by and I cried as I shared with him everything I had been going through, alone in my head, for years.

After that night, I worked up the courage to talk to a family member about what was happening to me.  She was the person who put a face to my monster.  It was anxiety, a simple word that made me cringe when I thought about it.  I didn’t know what anxiety was at the time.  I just felt lost and out of control to fight this “thing” I was dealing with.  With this person’s help, I gave a voice to the thing that plagued me most… which in turn gave me the strength to fight it.  I slowly began to learn more and more about anxiety.  I believed this issue was something outside of me, something I couldn’t control or fix.  But I was wrong.  This monster was in me.  And while at the time, that frightened me, it also saved me.  Because you can’t always control what goes on outside of you, but you do have the power to change what happens inside of you.  I had felt so weakened by my fear and by not understanding what was happening, that I believed I was too weak to change it.  Well, we’re stronger than we think!  I gave myself one year to change my life.  One year to face my fears and beat my monster.  One year.

I spent those 365 days reading every book I could get my hands on and researching anxiety on the Internet.  I was overwhelmed with the information that I found, but mostly, I was amazed to learn that I wasn’t alone.  Not even close!  The thing is that most people suffering from anxiety were just like me – scared to give it a voice.

I tried a lot of different things to combat the anxious feelings to see what worked for me.  I kept my social calendar to a minimum, then I tried to pack it out with fun things to do.  I began to write about all of my painful experiences, then switched to journaling about my journey (which is what I called this year time frame).  I took spin classes; I ran; I read books, I spent a lot of time online; I took practice drives and played with how far I could go.  I worked on pushing through the panic attacks (which I started referring to as anxious episodes) and I began to open up to people about what I was going through.  It turns out very few people knew the extent of what I was dealing with.  I became determined to keep healing and along my journey I found yoga.  I believe that yoga was the last piece of the puzzle that I needed.

I’m now 25 years old.  My one year is over, but I’m still on my journey.  I feel like I have a lot of lost time to make up for.  And while I may have lost a lot of time to worry and fear, I am thankful for everything I’ve been through.  A couple of years ago, if you would have asked me about anxiety, I would have told you I was being tortured or punished – had I even known what you were talking about.  It was my silent burden.  Now, I consider it my blessing.  I’m not the same person I used to be.  I’m strong and I have faith in myself.  I’m not scared anymore.

For 40 million adults in the U.S., this is their daily reality.  If you suffer from anxiety, know you are not alone.  Sometimes it feels that way.  But the person sitting next to you on the plane may be fighting the same fears.  I fought hard to get where I am today, and while I still may occasionally feel those familiar pangs of fear and anxiety, I feel confident in my ability to cope with them.  I developed strong coping skills based on yoga principles and I feel that yoga was the cornerstone of my recovery.  My journey isn’t over yet though, and my next step is to share what I’ve been through and what I’ve used to win my battle with anxiety.  I finally found my freedom – and now I want to help other people find theirs.

photos by tiago ribeiro, meredith farmer

anxiety, health, panic, recovery, women's health Hide

Movie outings, romantic dinners, and weekend getaways—being in a relationship can get expensive! Traditional dates are fun but they lack creativity and certainly aren’t easy on the bank account. In a time when the economy blows, it’s becoming necessary to start thinking outside the box. Just because you’re low on the dough doesn’t mean the party has to stop. Spice up the relationship by trying one of these great date alternatives.

Get Sporty
Hit the pavement and challenge your partner to some physical activity. Take a break from the gym and spend some one-on-one time getting fit. If you live near the beach, cruise on bikes, rollerblade or even take up kayaking. No beach? Hit the hills. Another outdoor activity great for couples is hiking. Sports are a great way to try something new together, and get a great workout at the same time.

No Reservations Necessary
Instead of fine dining, explore the great outdoors and have a picnic! Grab an old blanket and head to the park or beach. There’s nothing more fun then being outside, enjoying the weather and sharing a meal with the one you love. Be resourceful and look in your kitchen for yummy food to bring to the picnic. Don’t forget to bring board games or a beach ball and of course a camera to capture all the fun memories.

Think Red
Don’t want to spend all your money at the cinema? Then make it a Red Box night. Head to your local Red Box location and rent a DVD for ONLY $1. Enjoy a Red Box movie rental with some red wine. Try the “Two Buck Chuck” (Charles Shaw wine) from Trader Joe’s. You could even do a “red box squared” night, and get a box of red wine if you’re really low on funds. Stay home, get comfy and think red. After all, it is the color of love.

Art Appreciation
Museum visits are culturally stimulating and offer some intimate time to observe and analyze together. Many museums offer events, lectures, exhibits and special events. Be sure to look out for reduced tickets, free admission hours, and Art in Dark nights (art, music, food, and wine) for a low cost.

View from the Top
Stargazing, sunrises, and sunsets are not only beautiful but free. Don’t be embarrassed to grab some fast-food and head to the rooftop of a building or drive to the top level of a parking structure. This is a great place to appreciate city lights, architecture, and a natural setting. Plus, it’s romantic!

These inexpensive date ideas are simple and may be more memorable than splurging on a costly dinner at a fancy restaurant. Take advantage of free events, performances, happy hours, and special offers in your community. Start using the USPS and mail a love letter or cute note to your significant other. Technology is convenient but letters are always tangible and of course, wonderful keepsakes.

photo by tom kulbowski

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It is fascinating how the older I get, the more my paradigm of Christmas shifts. Obviously, in the past I was the classic pig-tailed seven year old who suffered from insomnia one night out of every year followed by a morning of hysteria at the sight of half eaten chocolate-chip cookies. Though I fought off sleep every Christmas Eve with all the strength I could muster, I would inevitably lose the battle to sleep’s relentless sneak attacks on my defenseless eyelids and the heavy hitting artillery perfectly aimed at my internal snooze button.

However, Christmas morning I was like a vicious general the moment I realized I had dozed off and felt the sole responsibility of rallying the troops at the crack of dawn. Naturally, the rallying process of my four older brothers was like walking into a den of hibernating bears. But there are few “alarm clocks” as effective as a baby sister on Christmas morning with the temptation of presents patiently awaiting her sleepless night’s curiosity.

I have however, outgrown the seven year old, GI Jane Barbie version of myself and realized that the latest additions to the Jones family get center stage. And I, in turn, now vicariously re-live those moments of pure joy through the eyes of my three-year-old niece and year and a half old nephew (Sayda and River).

In fact, I think it’s that transition that crystallizes our childhoods forever. Whether it’s our nieces/nephews, children or grandchildren; we have the opportunity to stay young forever despite our age or society’s expectations. We have an excuse to revisit our imaginary worlds, dust off the costumes of our make believe heroines, and pick up where we left off with our fanciful friends despite having left them on the shore as we sailed off to a far away land called “adulthood.”

I joked with my brothers on Christmas about how ridiculous you feel when you’re parading a plastic horse with an imaginary deputy on his back, down the main street in an invisible Texas town to find a thief at his local hang out (aka under the coffee table) and despite being fully enveloped in the story you’ve created, you realize your nephew bolted some time ago and you’re all alone with an unassuming, rubber horse in hand. Maybe children are but an excuse to reconnect with the child inside us that never grew up, but just somehow got pushed aside and left behind.

Personally I think “growing up” is overrated if it implies a divorce from our imagination, creativity and limitless daydreaming. I think we need a few more reckless thoughts and illogical excuses to create entire worlds that don’t exist and excitement induced insomnia the night before Santa pays his visit. After all, the magic of our imagination is it’s not something we can ever lose, it can’t be broken or taken away; our imagination is the extent by which we are willing to dream. While children have so much to learn from us, I think we in turn have so much to remember from them.

Barbie, christmas, GI Jane, Imagination, make believe Hide

You don’t need to be reminded that times are hard. However, we can always use a good pick-me-up. So how do you have a good time without spending a ton of cash? The lovely Maura Madden, resident of the Big Apple and master crafter, has solved all your problems. In her new book, Crafternoon, she lays out cost-effective parties for each month of the year where you and your friends can get down and dirty arts-and-crafts style.

Don’t worry, Madden’s not going to go all Martha Stuart on you. If you don’t know pinking shears from your elbow, you’ll find yourself in good company. Each craft idea laid out in her book is designed to be simple enough that anyone from your niece to your grandma can master it. Along with each month’s crafts she also provides a recipe for something yummy to fuel your creative spirit.

In order to properly review this book I thought it was only fair to throw a Christmas Crafternoon of my own. After attending a book reading by Madden at the Urban Craft Center in Santa Monica as well as participating in a master class in clothespin doll art, I felt ready to tackle my own event. I asked folks to bring their favorite crafting materials such as glitter and ribbons as well as a tasty dish to share. I provided the essentials for the projects laid out in the December chapter such as mini bagel ornaments and clothespin reindeer. I also made the “treat of the ‘noon,” Pam Madden’s Spiced Pecans, and let me tell you, if you buy the book for that recipe alone you will certainly get your money’s worth.

I set up my garage with folding tables and enough glitter to make Tinkerbell green with envy. Then I just sat back and let the crafting unfold. A strange mix of friends and co-workers began to mingle around the pipe cleaners and pom-poms, and then a wonderful thing began to happen. Most of the crafts planned out were completely abandoned as people began to inspire each other with completely new ideas. There is something really special that happens when people start to create. Not to mention, how often have you found yourself at a party with a drink or a cigarette in your hand? That’s probably because when we’re making new friends we feel more comfortable when we have something to do with our hands; well how about making Styrofoam snowmen?

All in all my party was a success. I’ll be expecting twice the turnout for my February Crafternoon when we make handmade valentines!

IATG says: LOVE IT! Buy this book and remember why you loved the Girl Scouts when you were nine. You’ll be surprised by what your co-workers can make out of felt, and maybe you’ll even surprise yourself!

Crafternoon A Guide to Getting Artsy and Crafty with Your Friends All Year Long by Maura Madden can be purchased at www.crafternoon.com or www.amazon.com

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We may not always agree with her. We may think she’s dead on. Or we may sometimes want to hit the mute button; but no matter how we view her opinions, we have to respect her. Elisabeth Hasselbeck has been in more than her fair share of disputes on “The View,” where she acts as the lone conservative, but this Boston College grad’s got moxie.

Despite occasional ridicule by mainstream media and gossip, Hasselbeck sticks to her convictions and she voices them.  She’s notoriously gone up against powerhouse names like Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, and Rosie O’Donnell, shed tears of frustration and vulnerability, and had a canary in her mouth after the 2008 elections, but she walks on. A girl who’s willing to stand her ground and speak up for herself, regardless of what’s standing in front of her has some serious That Girl qualities. So she’s cried in the middle of a fight; haven’t we all experienced a battle between words and tears over something we’re passionate about?

As 21st century bellists, we owe it to ourselves and each other to search ourselves for our beliefs and convictions.  To research and discover. And when we do, to stand firm in who we are, accepting criticism when it comes, and keep plowing on through.

21st Century Bellist, bellist, elisabeth hasselbeck, That Girl, the view Hide